


Back Home

by Destiels_Celebrity_Status, Destiels_Desperate_Measures



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, F/F, Horses, Hurt Dean Winchester, Impala Sex, M/M, Owner Castiel, Shower Sex, Texas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2017-03-23
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:15:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 41,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6154906
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiels_Celebrity_Status/pseuds/Destiels_Celebrity_Status, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Destiels_Desperate_Measures/pseuds/Destiels_Desperate_Measures
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been twelve years since Castiel left Texas to go to college and start his own (very successful) business. Now, thanks to his brother making him the best man at his wedding, Castiel must now go back home to face his past...and Dean.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So we have been working on this story since like, November of 2015. Now that it is finally finished, I (Destiels_Celebrity_Status) will update once a week. That being said...
> 
> ENJOY!

Twelve Years Ago

_"Lying here with you so close to me, it's hard to fight these feelings when it feels so hard to breathe..."_

Music played in the background, but neither participant was paying much attention to it. Dean slowly ran his hands up Cas' naked torso. Cas put his arms around him and pulled him into a kiss.

_"So hard to hold back when I'm holding you in my arms..."_

Dean slowly pushed his tongue past Cas' lips, exploring as he went. He pushed himself down on Cas, making Cas moan. Dean felt his thigh twitch as nimble fingers danced their way down his skin.

_"Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight. Just a touch of the fire burning so bright. I don't wanna mess this thing up. I don't wanna push too far. Just a shot in the dark that you just might be the one I've been waiting for my whole life. So baby I'm alright with just a kiss goodnight."_

***  
Cas woke up with light filtering through the windows of the Impala. He sat up quickly. "Fuck! Dean! Get up! If I'm late my parents are gonna kill me!"

Dean sat up. "Cas, chill. They'll be fine."  
Cas was digging his clothes off of the floor of the backseat. "You don't understand. They're insistent that I go to this interview. This scholarship could make or break college for me."

"Okay then. I'll get you home. Quietly." Dean put his shirt and jeans on. "Cas, why go off to school? There are a lot of good schools around here. One of them would probably be just as good as Stanford."  
"Because Stanford is a business school and I'm going into business, remember?"  
"Yeah, but you're also into computers."  
"They have a computer science degree option. I'm double majoring." Cas stopped tying his shoe and looked at Dean. "Why all the questions?"  
"Well, I, uh... nevermind."  
"No.... what?"  
Dean sighed. "I... I was hoping for more time with you. See what happens." Cas just stared at Dean. "Dean. We've known each other for years. Grown up together. Had all the time in the world. And now all of a sudden you decide that you…” Cas shook his head and continued putting his shoes on. “...I'm going to that interview."

Dean had climbed into the driver's seat. He exhaled and looked out of the window. "Fine. I'll take you home."  
The drive to the Novak's house was silent. Dean dropped Cas off without a word. As he went inside the house, Cas turned to see a cloud of dust at the end of their stone driveway.  
************

Present Day

  
Cas was sitting in his office looking at a bunch of files scattered across his desk. The phone rang.

"Castiel Novak."

"Very official little bro."

He sighed. "Gabriel, I'm extremely busy. Can you call back later?"

"Depends. Get anything good in the mail lately?" Castiel dug through the papers on his desk, finding the mail. He found an envelope from his older brother and opened it. "You're joking right? You're getting married?"

"Hells yeah! I want you to be my best man."

"Where's the wedding?"

"Back home." Castiel choked on his coffee.

"You want to run that by me again?"

"Home, Cassie. As in where we grew up."

Castiel swallowed. "Gabriel, when I said I was never going home, I meant it. And I still mean it."

"And why is that, Cassie?"

"Fuck you, Gabriel."

"More like, fucked De..."

Castiel cut him off. "Stop. Just... stop. I'm not going."

"Come on,baby bro. I'm getting married. Do it? For me?"

Cas put his face on his desk, right on top of a pile of papers. "Fine. I'll go,” he huffed.

"Great! Accommodations are already made."

"Okay, awesome. Where?" He lifted his head from the desk and cradled it in his free hand. He had a headache.

"At the ranch."

"The ranch? What ranch?"

"Oh, you know, the one owned by the parents of the guy you fucked before leaving town."

Cas sighed and ended the call, promptly putting his face back into the pile of papers in front of him.

“Fuck my life.”  
************

Cas’ phone vibrated in the passenger seat. He let out an exasperated breath as he picked up the phone and answered the call.  
"Hello, Gabriel." 

  
"Who peed in your Cheerios?" 

  
"You did. When you invited me to your wedding." 

  
"So dramatic as always, Cassie." 

  
"Please stop calling me that. Anyway, I'm about two hours out. See you soon.” Cas tossed the phone back to its place on the passenger seat. He let out a sigh.  
Two and a half hours later, Cas found himself pulling into the familiar, dusty driveway of the Winchester ranch. Nothing had changed. Same barn, same house, same shutters, same...  
He felt his heart stop. Walking up to the house from the barn was a tall, tan-skinned farmhand wearing worn jeans, old boots, and a cowboy hat, glistening with the sweat of a hard day's work. Castiel bit his lip. Shit.

"It's not him. Can't be him..." Castiel said to himself as he watched the farmhand. The man looked up, revealing green eyes and sandy hair.  
"Yup. Yup, that's him. Fuck." Castiel punched the seat and then sank down so he was practically laying down. "I hate you, Gabriel."

  
************

  
Thirteen Years Ago

  
Cas and the others followed Dean inside the house and went into the kitchen. "Hey ma." Dean said as he grabbed sodas and handed them out. "How was school y'all?" Mary asked from the stove. "Dean finally passed a physics test." Cas smiled. Dean rolled his eyes. "Please. I get B's buddy." 

  
"Yeah, and I get straight A's."  
Dean flipped him off. "Threaten me with a good time." Cas winked. Dean just opened his soda and took a drink, smiling. 

  
"Y'all stayin for supper?" 

  
"Nah, not me Mrs W. My mama's making meatloaf." Benny said. The others also politely declined.  
"I'll stay." Cas said. "Lord knows my mom can't cook to save her life." Dean laughed. "Ain't that the truth."  
Cas laughed and looked at Dean. Dean smiled at him, and Cas would swear that he winked at him as well.

  
************

  
The years had definitely been good to Dean, there was no denying that, even if Cas tried his hardest. Dean was muscular, no doubt from all of the hours he put in working the ranch. His skin was tanned from working outside in the sun, and his hair was a little lighter from the same force of nature. All of those elements did everything Cas did not want them to do to him at that moment, especially the way Dean’s emerald eyes stood out...  
"Dammit." He punched the seat again. Castiel had no choice but to get out now because Dean had spotted him and was making his way to the car. He reluctantly opened the door and stepped out of the car. 

  
"Can I help you?" Dean asked. Holy fuck. His voice was like velvet with Texas twang thrown in. Castiel had to hide his Texas accent so people would take him seriously; he figured it would be a good idea to continue that practice now. "Uh, I'm here for Gabriel's wedding and was told to come here." He was suddenly very thankful that his aviators were hiding his eyes. 

  
"Yeah, I'll help you with your things and show you where you'll be shackin up." Dean smiled. Oh good lord, that smile. Castiel cursed his brother in his head again and popped the trunk.

  
Dean went around to the back of the car and began to pull luggage out. Castiel made his way to the same place. As he walked, he caught a glimpse of a black car parked off to the side. Shit.

  
"I've got this one," Castiel said, pulling the other bag out. They walked silently into the house and up the stairs to the guest rooms. Dean opened one of the doors and put the luggage inside.

  
"Okay, so the bathroom is..."  
Castiel spat the words out without thinking. "Third door to the left, hold the handle down when you flush it, and don't flush when someone is in the shower." Dean looked at him, puzzled. "Ummm, yeah... there's only... a few people who know that..."

  
Shit. He'd done it now. Damn his memory. Cas bit his lip. "And I happen to be one of them." He sighed as he removed his aviators and looked at his feet before looking up, flashing his blue eyes at Dean.

  
"Hello Dean." 

  
Dean raised his eyebrows. Words escaped him for a second at the sight of those electric blue eyes looking up at him, sending long-buried memories into the deepest parts of his soul. "Well hell. I'd recognize those eyes anywhere. After twelve damn years the prodigal son Cas returns."  
"Nobody has called me that in a long time." Castiel said calmly.  
"Yeah. Well I have things to do so you go ahead and unpack. I'll be out back if you need me." He walked past Castiel and closed the door behind him. Cas sighed.  
"So it begins." He finished unpacking and headed slowly downstairs. He looked up when he heard a familiar voice.  
"Well, hot damn, aren't you a sight for sore eyes!"

  
He smiled. "There's only one person who can catcall me like that." Castiel turned to see Charlie Bradbury and her red hair smiling up at him. He walked down to her and gave her a hug.

  
"I just saw Dean. He told me you were here."

  
"Word travels fast."

  
"Umm yeah. This town is small, Cas."

  
"I'm gonna have to get used to being called that again." He smiled. 

  
"Where you living at these days?" 

  
"California." 

  
"That would explain the funny accent." 

  
"Well honey, I could say the same for you."He said in his original Texas accent.

  
Charlie smiled. "There he is!" She wrapped him in a hug. "Damn, it's good to see you Cas." 

  
"Good to see you, too, Charlie." He pulled back and smiled at her.  
There was a commotion at the door. Cas looked up. In walked Meg, Adam, and Benny.

  
"Well smack my grandma and kiss me sideways. Is that Cas Novak standing in front of me?" Castiel rolled his eyes. "Nice to see you, Benny."

  
The group was chatting when Dean walked in. "I see the band's back together."

  
"In a way. We should all go do something." Charlie looked around at everyone. "The pool hall is open. We could head there. I think Meg owes me a rematch, anyway," Adam quipped from the side. Meg high-fived him. "Oh, it's on!"

  
Dean shrugged. "Pool it is then. Give me another couple hours and I'll be ready to go."

  
"Sounds good, Dean." Charlie called after him. She looked at Castiel. "This will be awesome!" 

  
Cas sighed. "Yeah. Awesome." He rolled his eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

Cas felt a pool cue poke him in the side as he lined up to shoot. "Really Dean?" Dean just flashed him a smile. "You gonna make your shot princess?" Cas let out a sigh. "Don't ever call me that again." Dean puts his hands in the air. "My bad. Won't happen again, princess." Everyone laughed. Cas just shook his head, finally making his shot and sinking a ball in the far corner pocket. Dean nodded in approval of Cas' shot. "Got my work cut out for me." Castiel smiled. "Yeah, just like when we were eighteen." He sank another shot, looked up at Dean and wagged his eyebrows, sticking his tongue out slightly.

Dean smiled. There was the old Cas. One by one, the pool balls were sunk into various pockets. As Cas sank the eight ball, Dean smiled. "Nice to see you haven't lost your touch." Cas stood up from the table. "I'm actually surprised. It's been years since I've played."

"Like riding a bike."

Meg hopped up from the stool she was on. "This round's' on me. Charlie, Benny, Adam... help me carry it back." The three headed off toward the busy bar, leaving Dean and Cas alone.

"Four people, six beers." He shook his head and looked at Dean. "It's cute how they're trying so hard."

"Yeah... they're downright adorable." Dean squared up to break the rack he had set up. Castiel leaned against the pool table. "This is awkward isn't it?"

"Dunno what you're talking about." Dean said as he hit the cue ball. It hit the balls and scattered them across the table.

"Dean..."

Dean looked at him. "We're not having this conversation right now." Cas looked back at Dean. He felt like there was a hole right in the center of his body. "Dean, I..." Dean sank a solid, and then stood up. The look on his face was a mix of pissed off and hurt. "Not now, Castiel. Not now. You're stripes." Dean didn't make eye contact with Cas.

Castiel moved around the table. "So what, we get along for our friends sakes?" He sunk a ball in the side pocket. Dean took a drink of beer. "Until you leave and we can go back to pretending the other doesn't exist." Castiel looked at him. "I guess I deserved that."

"And more." Cas looked over his shoulder. "Well, guess we better put our game faces back on, because the British are coming." Dean took another drink of his beer. "Yup. Guess so, Paul Revere." Castiel closed his eyes for a split second, opening them and sinking another ball. He looked at Dean who just drained the rest of his beer and took the other from Benny. "Who's winning?" Charlie asked. "Take a guess." He sunk another, not taking his eyes off Dean. Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas. "Just like old times." Cas sank the cue ball.

Charlie happily plopped down on a stool near the pool table. "This is just awesome guys! It has been way too long since we did this. I could get used to it." Dean botched his shot. "At least as long as Cas decides to stay. When, uh, do you have to leave?" Cas knew Dean was digging at him, trying to piss him off. It was working. But he played it off for the sake of the group. "I have a meeting first thing next Monday morning. I'll be flying out Sunday afternoon." Dean nodded. "Too bad. It's nice having the gang all here." He looked at Cas, taking a drink of his beer.

Dammit. "Yeah." He bent over and sunk a ball.

"Damn Cas, you could probably hustle pool for a living." Dean smiled and raised his eyebrows. He sunk another. "You would know." Three more rounds of pool and a few more beers later, the friends walked out of the bar. Dean trailed behind, watching Cas as he goofed off with the others. Dean bit his bottom lip and sighed. Under his breath he whispered to himself, "Stay this time."

"Dean!" He looked up to see Charlie waving frantically at him. "Dude let's go. Early day tomorrow!"

"Yeah, yeah, keep your panties on. I'm coming." He gave one last glance at Cas, who had his back to him. "Fuck." Dean lightly punched the wall of the building as he walked toward the others. He didn't know he was being watched. Charlie watched Dean join the group. Her felt her face fall slightly. "He still loves Cas," she thought to herself. She grinned.

************

Twelve years ago

Dean stepped out on to the back porch. "Breakfast will be ready soon honey." His mom said as he closed the door. He didn't feel like eating. He didn't feel like doing anything. He walked to the barn and over to his horse. "Hey Whiskey." He pet her neck. A few stalls down, an Appaloosa was snorting loudly and hitting the door of the stall. "Dammit River, stop it." The horse never stopped causing a commotion, just like his owner when he was here. River hit the door again.

Dean walked over. "Listen you psycho horse, Cas is gone okay? He ain't comin back. Now shut up before I send you to the glue factory." The horse looked at him. "You won't let anyone ride you so what good are ya?" The horse snorted at him. "That's what I say too. Fuck him, right? We don't need him do we?" But he did need Cas. He just wanted Cas to come back, or at least call. It had been months. Months with no word. No "How are you." No "Fuck off and go to hell." Nothing. Hell, Cas was probably having the time of his life and forgot all about his friends and Dean.

***

Cas stepped out of the dorm building and slung his backpack over his shoulder. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and looked at the lock screen. It was a picture of him and his friends at the pool hall the night before he left. He often wondered how they were doing. He especially thought about Dean and the last night they were together, in his Impala out by the pond. He sighed and put his phone in his pocket and started walking. "Hey! Castiel!" He turned. Jimmy came running up behind him. Jimmy was from New York and was no stranger to the big city. Cas on the other hand, he had to drop his Texas accent just so people would take him seriously here.

"Hey Jimmy."

"Do you have the notes from Professor Barns? I lost mine."

"Yeah, I'll let you copy them tonight. I take better notes than you anyway."

"You're an angel Cas! Thanks!"

"Don't call me Cas. I left that kid in Texas."

"Right! I forgot you were from Texas!"

************

Dean stared at the ceiling in his room. He was finally lying down after a hard day’s work. Since his parents died, Dean was left alone to run the place. It was mentally and physically exhausting. On top of working the ranch, Dean did random repairs around town and some mechanic work. It made for a busy day. His mind was racing and making it impossible to sleep. Why, after all this time, did Cas have this affect on him? It didn’t make sense. He’d been completely functional and normal before Mr Blue Eyes had shown back up. Hell, Dean was done the second those sunglasses were off of Cas’ face; those eyes had always been a weakness of Deans and it seemed that that hadn’t changed.

Dean inhaled sharply and drummed his fingers on the bed. He looked at his phone. It was about twelve thirty in the morning. Suddenly, he had an idea. He needed to prove to himself that he was over Cas. For good. He grabbed his phone and thumbed through his contacts, stopping at one after a minute or two. “Perfect.” He hit the call button. The phone rang for a few seconds. He drummed his fingers on his thigh. Maybe she wouldn’t pick up. Maybe she was sleeping or already out or…

Dean swallowed hard. “Hey, Anna… it’s Dean… Yeah, it’s been a long time. Listen I was wondering if you… if you were free tonight?.....Awesome, yeah, uh, the old spot?... Sounds great. Be there soon.” He hung up and put the phone down on the bed, hesitating for a minute before springing to life and changing his clothes, not that what he was wearing really mattered because in about an hour they’d be on the floor of a cheap hotel room. He walked quietly out to the Impala and drove off.

_Knock knock_.

The door opened. A pretty redhead with blue eyes looked up at him. “Hello, Dean.” Dean smiled at her. “Hey, Anna. It’s been… too long.” She smiled at Dean as she looked him up and down. “It definitely has, farmboy.” Anna stepped aside and let Dean into the room.

There wasn’t much more than a bed and a bathroom, which was more than enough for a one night stand. He cradled Anna’s face in has hands and looked at her for a moment before taking over her mouth. Anna returned his kiss, moving her hands under his shirt and working it over his head.

Dean worked at the buttons on her blouse, pushing it off of her shoulders and letting it fall to the floor. Anna bit at his bottom lip, making Dean let out a low moan. She kissed him again. Dean closed his eyes, letting the sensations work him over. He imagined throwing her to the bed and pulling those painted-on jeans off. He moved his hands up her torso as he deepened the kiss.

He pictured blue eyes and dark hair. His eyes flew open. Not today. Anna turned Dean so that the bed was behind him. She put a hand on his chest and playfully pushed him down, then slipped out of her jeans. Dean kicked his jeans off as well. He was not going to let Cas get the best of him. Not now. Not ever again. She climbed on top of Dean and began to kiss his neck and collarbone. Dean rocked his hips upward, trying to keep himself hard, which was proving to be more difficult than it should be.

What the hell was wrong with him? Anna was always a favorite of his. She bit at his neck and his head fell back as a moan escaped his lips. “Ca…” Anna stopped and looked at him. “What did you…?” Dean opened his eyes and looked at Anna. His erection was gone, like it had never happened. Shit.

“I can’t..I can’t do this…” He lightly pushed Anna away and stood up from the bed, pulling his jeans back on. “What the hell, Dean? There’s never been a problem before…” He hung his head. “I know. I know. And I’m sorry. I just..” He sighed and looked at her. “I just can’t. Here’s for the room. Sorry.” He put the payment for the room on the table by the door and walked out.

Dean punched the steering wheel as he parked the Impala in its place at the ranch. “This is the stupidest thing… I can’t let him do this to me again. I can’t…” Dean opened the door and got out of the car and headed to the barn. He leaned against the side and slid down to the ground. He looked up at the stars. It was a quiet and clear night.

Dean sat in the silence with his eyes closed for a few minutes before he heard footsteps heading his way. “Well, well. Where were you at at this hour?” Dean sighed. “Hey, Benny. I was… thinking.” Benny sat down beside him.

“Thinking, huh? Does thinking smell like lilacs and baby farts?” Benny raised an eyebrow at Dean. “I needed to clear my head.” Benny put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky. “Uh-huh. Clear your head.” He looked at Dean. “All hooking up gets you is a boat load of problems and a dude who won’t stop calling you.” Dean laughed. “See, you’re not as smart as you think. It wasn’t a dude.”

“Ahh.” Benny looked at Dean. “Anna?” Dean choked. “How’d you…”

“Because I am as smart as I think. And she’s the only chick you’d actually go back to for something like that.” Silence. “Dean… It’s okay, you know.” Dean shot a glare at Benny. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Jeez, you’re such a meathead. It’s okay to still have feelings for Cas. None of us are fooled by you. And running off to stick it in some bitch doesn’t… Wait…” Benny smiled at Dean, who rolled his eyes and looked away.

“You didn’t, did you?” Silence. Dean continued to avoid Benny’s gaze. Benny laughed and punched Dean in the arm. “Fuck, boy, you couldn’t make it happen!” Dean sighed as he tucked his head to his knees.

“No. I couldn’t. So I left and came back here and here we sit. I’m going to bed. Great chat. ‘Night, Benny.” Benny was still shaking his head as Dean went back inside the house.


	3. Chapter 3

Twelve Years Ago

Cas lay back on the back seat of the Impala, his head resting on his shirt that had been made into a makeshift pillow. Dean sat straddling him, removing his own shirt and revealing tan skin covering his muscular frame. Cas ran his hands from Dean's neck to his shoulders, over his chest and down his sides to his hips. His fingers worked their way to the button of Dean's jeans...

************

Sunlight drifted in through the bedroom window. Cas squeezed his eyes shut and rolled over so that he was facing the wall. He stuck his hand down his boxers, feeling himself. "Are you fucking kidding me right now?" he whispered to himself. He lay there for a moment, willing the unwelcome  erection away before getting out of bed. He smelled coffee, which meant that Dean was up. "I can't do this." Castiel muttered into the pillow.

He knew that he had to get up eventually. He sighed as he got up and made his bed and got dressed, settling on a blue Polo and faded jeans, finally making his way downstairs to see Dean shirtless in the kitchen making breakfast. Cas felt a shiver travel up his spine. He let out a sigh and thought about going back to bed. Instead, he walked to the counter. 

"Okay. If I'm going to be stuck here, you need to put on a fucking shirt." He said as he grabbed a coffee cup.   

"My house, Cas. Get over it."  

Cas stood there, staring at the ceiling with his hands on his hips.

"Good to see you still have a little bit of queen left in you."

Cas looked at Dean. "Oh, my God, just stop. This is ridiculous."

Dean smiled at Cas. "See. Still there." Dean took his coffee and pancakes and headed toward the dining room.

"Seriously. Stop. Our friends will probably be here any second." Dean didn't look at him. 

"My friends you mean. You ditched them twelve years ago. Remember?"   

 

Castiel looked over at him. "So are you gonna be an ass this whole time?"

Dean shrugged as he set his plate down on the table. " Pretty much. If your brother wasn't getting married, you wouldn't be here. No use getting all excited when you're just gonna leave again."

"Dean, really, this..." Castiel cut his sentence short as Benny, Charlie, and Adam walking toward the kitchen. Dean smiled at Castiel and gave him a wink before sitting down to eat. Cas opened the cupboard. 

"I'm gonna need a bigger coffee cup. Like a pitcher..."

"Better make it Irish while you're at it." Dean smirked. 

"God, you're a dick."  

"You are what you eat Cas." Dean said just as the gang entered the room. Cas just poured himself a cup of coffee. "Mornin' you two." Benny said. Charlie looked at Castiel. "You look like someone peed in your Cheerios." Castiel shot her a look.

"Yeah, I've been hearing that a lot lately."

"He's just actin' like a baby. Let him get his coffee." Dean said.

Dean began to eat his food. The others sat down as well. Cas finished making his coffee and snuck out of the room, making his way to the back porch. He stood there in the morning air, taking in the view of the ranch. He hadn't seen this since before he left. He sipped at his coffee. Behind him, he heard a door open. He turned around. "Hey, Charlie."

"Hey, Cas. Didn't feel like sitting with us today, huh?"

Cas shrugged. "There's just...it's... ugh, it's complicated." He stared out at the sunrise.

"It doesn't have to be complicated." Charlie looked at Cas and gave a reassuring smile. She knew. And she knew that he knew she knew. Hiding how he felt was useless. 

Cas sighed and downed the rest of his coffee. "I have some errands to run with Gabriel today." Charlie clapped him on the shoulder. 

"Okay. Have fun. Stay out of trouble."

"Oh, you know me." Cas gave her a wink.

He walked back in the house and felt his phone vibrate. 

"Hey, assbutt."

"Hey, baby bro. You ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

"Cool. Be there in like, ten."

***

They went to a flower shop in town. Castiel remembered this place. His mom would take him in here a lot as a small child. His dad would take him so he could tell his dad what kind of flowers to get his mom whenever they were arguing.   

"What about these?"  Gabriel held up a couple of roses.

"No. Roses are  too mainstream." 

"Right. Good call baby bro."  

"You want something that will complement her beauty ,” Cas said as he walked down the row. 

"Jeez. Sappy." Gabriel s norted . 

"That's the point. I'd go with Texas bluebonnet and moon orchids."

Gabriel nodded and made a note in his book. "I knew you'd be helpful."

Cas laughed. "So, you made me your best man because I'm gay and know my flowers?"

"Well, that helps, but no. You're my little brother and I love you. That's why." Gabriel ruffled Cas' hair. He eyed some more flowers. "So... what's the news?"

"News?"

"Yeah. News. As in, stuff going on with you. And maybe someone else."

Cas rolled his eyes. "Gabriel, there's no 'news.'"

"You can't tell me that you don't still have some sort of feelings."

"Not the point. No news is just that …  no news. So, in short, there's nothing to tell." Castiel picked up a box of baby's breath. "These would look nice mixed in with the other flowers."

"What about your friends? They seem happy you're back."

Case gave a half-hearted smile. " Yeah, it's been great being around them again. I've missed them."

"Dean too?"

"Doesn't matter. He hates me regardless."

Gabriel smiled at Cas. "Hates you... or is still hurt?"

"Fuck you, Gabe."

Gabriel made a face and shuddered dramatically. “No, you're my little brother and that's just not right.” Cas threw a small stone from one of the flower pots at him.

They left the flower shop and got lunch at the local diner. The staff gushed over Castiel and how nice it was to see him after so long. Just like the ranch, nothing had changed. After eating and filling everyone in about his life, they got back in Gabriel's car. 

"Back to the ranch?"

"Unfortunately."

"Oh, it can't be that bad."

Cas exhaled. "Brother, you don't even know. You try sharing a living space with someone who hates you but you can't help but stare when they walk into a room."

"And he admits it!"

"If I'm admitting anything, it's that he's attractive. No one can deny that."

"Yeah, you're right, baby bro."

Castiel got out of the car and said bye to his brother as he stepped on to the porch. He was a little hesitant to go in, but went in anyway.  

 "There he is!" Adam held up his beer. 

"Getting an early start I see." Castiel smiled at the group. 

"Hey, it's five o'clock somewhere." Benny said. Castiel just  rolled his eyes and joined them in the living room. "It's karaoke night at the pool hall tonight. We should go." Charlie suggested.  

 "Oh no. Not me. No way." Castiel interjected. 

"Come on Cas. You used to love singing." Meg said. Castiel flicked his eyes to Dean, who was taking a drink of his beer and  looking at him. He looked at Meg. "I don't know, I haven't sang in years."

Meg punched his shoulder. "Come on, Castiel! The last time we went was the best!"

Cas smiled. " Yeah, it was pretty fun."

*********

Twelve Years  Ago

"Next up is Cas singing 'The Thunder Rolls.'"

"Wooo! Yeah, Cas!" Charlie pumped her fist in the air as Cas took the mic. "You've got this, buddy!"

Dean was clapping and gave Cas a wink. Cas smiled at him, ignoring the somersault that his stomach had just done. The music started.

_Three thirty in the morning_

_not a soul in sight._

_City's lookin like a ghost town_

_on a rainy summer night._

_Raindrops on the windshield,_

_there's a storm moving in._

_And he's heading back from_

_somewhere that he never_

_should have been._

_And the thunder rolls,_

_the thunder rolls..._

"Yeah, get it, Cas! Woo!" Benny had been sneaking drinks from his bartender friend. Meg and Charlie held their phone's up with the  backlights on, swaying back and forth.

_Every light is burning_

_in a house across town,_

_she's_ _pacing_ _by the telephone_

_in her faded flannel gown,_

_asking for a miracle,_

_hoping she's not right._

_Praying it's the weather_

_that's kept him out all night..._

_and the thunder rolls. And the thunder rolls._

Cas took his mic off the stand gave it his all.

_The thunder rolls_

_and the lightening strikes_

_Another love grows cold_

_on a sleepless night_

_as the storm goes on and on_

_out of control,_

_deep in her heart,_

_the thunder rolls_

The bar is cheering by now. Cas smiled shyly and kept going.

_...she rushes out to hold him,_

_thankful he's alive._

_But on the wind and rain_

_a strange new perfume blows,_

_and the_ _lightning_ _flashes in her eyes,_

_and he knows that she knows..._

He finished out the song to hearty applause from the other patrons. Meg, Charlie, Benny, and Adam were holding up napkin signs saying "we luv Cas" and cheering. As he walked off the stage, he looked sideways at Dean, who was eyeing Cas. Dean caught Cas' gaze and smiled at him quickly as Cas sat back down.

"Next up, Dean Winchester."

Dean wagged his eyebrows and got up. He took his black stetson off and put it on Cas' head as he passed. He got on stage and grabbed the mic, walking over to the piano and sitting down. &

"Leave it to Dean to show off." Cas rolled his eyes . He left the hat on.

Dean started to play. Cas recognized the song immediately. Dean closed his eyes and sang.

_I can hear the truck tires coming up the gravel road_

_And its not like her to drive that slow, nothin's on the radio_

_Footsteps on the front porch, I hear my doorbell_

_She usually comes right in, now I can tell_

_Here comes goodbye_

_Here comes the last time_

_Here comes the start of every sleepless night_

_The first of every tear I'm gonna cry_

_Here comes the pain_

_Here comes me wishing things had never changed_

_And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye_

_I can hear her say I love you like it was yesterday_

_And I can see it written on her face that she had never felt this way_

_One day I thought I'd see her with her daddy by her side_

_And violins would play here comes the bride_

_Here comes goodbye_

_Here comes the last time_

_Here comes the start of every sleepless night_

_The first of every tear I'm gonna cry_

_Here comes the pain_

_Here comes me wishing things had never changed_

_And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye_

_Why does it have to go from good to gone?_

_Before the lights turn on, yeah and you're left alone_

_All alone, but here comes goodbye_

_Oh-oooo_

_Here comes goodbye_

_Here comes the last time_

_Here comes the start of every sleepless night_

_The first of every tear I'm gonna cry_

_Here comes the pain_

_Here comes me wishing things had never changed_

_And she was right here in my arms tonight, but here comes goodbye_

Everyone around them started clapping and cheering. Through the whole song, the group just watched Cas' reaction. Cas was just two days away from going to college. He knew the song was directed at him. 

He felt his heart clench. He got up, knocking his drink over and walked out of the pool hall. He paced for a minute then leaned against the brick building, closing his eyes and letting out a ragged br eath . 

************

"Alright all, we're movin out! Let's go, Cas!"

Cas sighed. "Fine, fine. But I'm not singing."

Adam laughed. "That's what you say now."

They all climbed into Benny's truck. Dean jumped in the bed and pounded on the roof. "Let's roll!" He said. Adam, Benny, and Castiel were already singing "Friends in low places" in the parking lot. Charlie was hanging back with Dean. "It's good having him here isn't it?"

"Yeah," He put his hands in his  pockets. "Too bad he's just gonna leave again."  

"Then convince him not to."

"I tried. Twelve years ago. He didn't want to be here then and he doesn't want to be here now. We all know he's better off here."

"No argument here. California changed him, but it seems he can cut loose and be himself. Be the Cas we know and love."  

They all walked in and sat at their usual table. They had a few beers before Benny got on stage and sang "Kiss My Country Ass" by Blake Shelton. The group cheered, laughed and sang along. Charlie and Castiel danced in their seats. Dean smiled at them before taking a drink of beer. 

"Let's get a table and run some eight ball." 

"Sure thing," said Charlie. She walked up to the counter inside paid for a table. She picked one that was close to the karaoke. She sat the balls on the table and looked at her friends. 

"Well, who's in?"

***

Castiel, Benny, and Adam were up ahead of the rest of the group, wrestling around as they made their way to Benny's truck. Benny put Adam in a headlock and Castiel jumped on Benny's back. The three were laughing and yelling insults at each other.

"Alright boys. Act your age, not your IQ." Meg said. 

Castiel looked at her. "Well I should be acting almost 200. You want me to jump in my time machine and live in the BC times?"

"Sit and spin Novak."

"Grow one first."

 

Meg laughed. "So sassy, Novak! If I didn't swing left I'd be all aflutter." She winked at him.

 

Castiel clutched his chest and stumbled backwards. "Ouch!" The others laughed. 

They all hopped in the truck and headed back to Dean's. On they way, Castiel looked over at Dean as Charlie was talking. Dean was looking out the window, jaw clenched. Castiel looked forward at Charlie, letting his head fall back to the seat.

 

Once at the ranch, they climbed out of the truck and headed to their respective rooms. Cas walked slowly up the stairs to the bathroom. He leaned over the sink and splashed his face with cold water. He looked at his reflection in the mirror. This was going to be a very difficult  several days.

 

Dean walked slowly up the stairs to his room and went in, closing his bedroom door behind him. He made his way to the bed and sat down, rubbing his face. He needed to clear his head, and there was no way he could even think about sleeping right now. He got up and made his way outside to the barn. 

He grabbed a saddle blanket and saddle before walking over to his horse, a paint mare named Pandora. He pet her for a minute. "Up for a late night ride, Pan?" The horse snorted and tossed her head in response. He smiled. "Well alright then."

He put the saddle blanket on, then the saddle, making sure it was secure before lifting himself up. He grabbed the reins and led her out of the barn.

 

As soon as they were out of the barn, Dean pet her again. "Gun it Pandora." The paint immediately broke into a run. He steered her to the pond, where he always went to think. He pulled back on the reins. "Hit the breaks Pan." She slowed to a stop and he climbed off. He patted her a few times. "Still got it don't ya?"He smiled.

 

He led Pandora to a hitch post nearby and looped the worn leather reins around it a couple of times, dropping some treats into a trough for her. He walked to the edge of the pond and looked out over the calm water illuminated by the moon and stars. Dean looked down and found a smooth stone. He hadn't skipped a stone in a while. He gave the stone a toss and it dashed across the pond, leaving tiny ripples where it landed. He sighed as he sat in the grass.

"Why am I letting this.... him... get to me?" he said out loud to himself. He thought he was over Cas. He had been with other people, had other lovers. And, as the saying goes, you never forget your first. But this was more than a memory. This was real and right in front of him and he couldn’t shake it.

 

Castiel sat on the bed in his room. His phone buzzed in his pocket. Charlie was calling. He sighed and answered.

"Yeah?"

"Well you don't sound to happy."

"I'm just...tired. No big deal."

"Uh-huh. I know you better than that. I know what butt hurt sounds like and both of you have a seriously bad case."

"Way to be sensitive about it."

"Now is not the time to be sensitive, Novak. Do you really want to lose Dean for good?"

"Dean doesn't want me here."

"I beg to differ."

&Yeah? Enlighten me."

"He watched you wrestling with Benny and Adam."

"So?"

"He punched a wall after seeing you act like the old you. Ya know, the Cas he was stuck-on-stupid about and still is. He doesn't want you to leave. It's written all over his face."

He sighed. 

"He still loves you Castiel."

Cas punched the pillow on his bed.

"You okay, buddy?" Charlie asked.

Silence.

 

"Cas?"

"Yeah, I'm here. And I'm fine. Really."

"Well, if you're smart, and I know you are, you'll chase him down. He wants you just as much as you want him. Get over yourself Castiel and go get your man."

"It's not that easy, Charlie. Things are...complicated."

"Complicated my ass, Cas."

"I didn't want Dean to get hung up on me..." He fell back.

"Too late for that. And why not?"

"Because I didn't plan on coming back."

"Then why are you here?"

Damn. Castiel licked his lips. He hated the answer that he was about to give, and he certainly didn't want to admit it to himself, let alone another person.

"I came back because... because I wanted to see Dean. I wanted to see if he'd moved on. And when he hadn't I... I shouldn't have come here. End of story."

 

"Sounds like you haven't moved on either."

He let out an annoyed sigh. "Do you have to do that all the time?"

"Oh, you know you missed it."

"I hate you."

"I know."

Silence.

"Seriously though Cas. Would it kill you to at least try?"

Dammit. " Probably."

"Do not make me lock you two in a closet...again."

"Yeah, 'cause it worked so well the first time."

"Hey, that's on you. You could at least apologize to the man."

 "I tried. When you all so conveniently left us alone at the bar for about ten minutes. It didn't go so well."

"Well, then, freaking try again, Castiel James Novak."

 

Castiel held the phone away from his ear for a second then put it back. "Did you just full name me?"

"Damn right! Now go apologize."

************

Thirteen Years Ago

“Okay, folks! The name of the game is Seven Minutes in Heaven…”

Simultaneous groans erupted from the group.

“Really, Charlie? This is so middle school…” Meg rolled her eyes at her friend. Charlie grinned.

“Come on, spoil sports. It’ll be fun. Now, gather ‘round and let’s have a good time!” Charlie wrote everyone’s name down on little pieces of paper and dropped them into a bowl. Meg and Benny, Charlie and Adam…

Adam’s eyes bugged a little and a sly grin crossed his face as he pulled the next two names. “Dean and Cas…”

“Oooo!”

“Charlie…” Dean looked down at the floor. Charlie shook his shoulder. Then she stood up and pulled Dean to his feet. As she did so, she leaned in and whispered, “I’m doing you a favor, moron.” She grabbed Dean by the hand and pulled him to the hall closet. 

“Let’s go, Novak!” Charlie went back for Cas and pulled him to the closet as well. She opened the door and pushed the boys in, shutting them inside. They listened for her footsteps to disappear. 

“Well this is… awkward.” Cas gulped.

“Yeah. Very.” Dean groped around for a flashlight, which he found on a shelf above them. He turned it on and looked at Cas. His blue eyes sparkled in the light. Dean licked his lips. “Hi…”

Cas smiled shyly at Dean. “Hi…”

************

Cas hung up and tossed his phone on the bed with a sigh. Dammit.

He had seen Dean ride of in the direction of the pond earlier. Figures. He always went there to think. He put his hands in his pockets and walked out to the pond. 

Dean was laying on the grass with his hands behind his head. Castiel really had no clue what to do except just go for broke.

"This Whiskey's mare?" Dean sat up and looked at him. "Yeah." He laid back down. 

"Charlie told me about Whiskey. Too bad. She was a good horse."

"Yeah, she was. That's Pandora by the way."

Castiel walked over to the Paint. "Hey Pandora." He smiled, petting the horse.

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Act like you never left. Like everything is fine."

"I'm not acting like everything is fine. I came out here to talk to you since you refused to at the bar."

"Yeah? Talk then. Just don't touch my horse."

 

Cas removed his hand from Pandora's neck. "Fine. I won't."

Silence.

Cas inhaled deeply. "I'm sorry."

Dean sat up and turned toward Cas. "Sorry?"

"Yeah. I am."

Dean stood up and walked in a circle, wiping his face with his hands. Cas felt like his feet were welded to the grass, and that hole in his stomach was back again.

 

Dean walked right up to Cas. He didn't say a word. Instead, he grabbed Cas by the shoulders and pushed him back against a nearby tree. Dean was so close to Cas' face that their noses were touching. Cas was terrified. Was Dean mad, hurt... all of the above? It was hard to tell.

Dean let go of Castiel's shoulders and backed away, never breaking eye contact with Cas. His face said it all. He was wounded. And pissed. In one stride, it seemed, Dean had mounted Pandora and took off. Cas didn't move from the tree as he listened to the mares' pounding hooves fade into the distance.

 

"Sorry?" He seethed, pulling the barn door closed. "That's it?" He kicked the barn. "How about you fucking grow a pair?!" He yelled on the way to the house. He slammed the door closed and made his way up to his room. "What a pathetic apology." He stalked up the stairs. He stopped in front of Cas' room and looked at the door. He was tempted to pack his stuff for him and throw it at that fancy car of his. Not a bad idea. 

 

Dean walked over to the dresser and opened it. He saw something tucked under one of Cas' shirts. Pictures. He pulled them out and looked at them. The first picture was both of them on their horses, Whiskey and River. They thought the names were clever. The second picture was of them at the pool hall. Cas was leaning over the pool table, smiling up at the camera. Dean was right next to him, looking at Cas and smiling. 

He heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He put the pictures back and closed the drawer. He made it out the door and around the corner before Cas made it up the stairs.

Cas stopped, his hand on the doorknob. His head fell to the door and he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. Was Cas...? No. He couldn't be. Was he crying? 

He watched as Cas opened his door and closed it behind him. Dean stood there for a minute, stunned. He slowly walked to his room and closed the door quietly. He collapsed on the bed and closed his eyes.

A few minutes later, he heard the floorboards creak. Then the stairs. He got up and quietly made his way to the top of the stairs. 

The piano started to play. A few seconds later, he heard Cas start to sing. 

 

_Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor_

_Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore_

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

_For me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now_

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

_Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door_

_Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before_

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind_

_For me it happens all the time_

_It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now_

_Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

_woah woaaah._

_Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all_

_It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now_

_And I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now_

_And I don't know how I can do without_

_I just need you now_

_I just need you now_

_Ooo, baby, I need you now_

 

The music stopped. Dean crouched in the shadow of the staircase and blinked away the sting that threatened his eyes. He looked back toward Cas.

 

Cas sighed heavily, sounding defeated. He hung his head and then slowly stood up from the piano. As he began to walk to the stairs, Dean remembered where he was and quietly walked back to his own room, shutting the door behind him.

 

Castiel walked into his room and fell face first on the bed, playing the events of the evening over and over in his mind. His phone buzzed and he pushed it off the bed, rolling onto his back. He never knew just how much his leaving hurt Dean until tonight. He laid on the bed for what seemed like hours, thinking. He had to fix this, but how?


	4. Chapter 4

Twelve Years Ago

Dean smiled against Cas' skin as he planted soft kisses between his shoulder blades. He enjoyed watching Cas struggle to keep his composure, but, really, how much composure could a guy keep once he's undressed in the backseat of someone else's car? 

He laughed as Cas let out a long, low, wrecked moan when he bit at the area between his shoulder blades. He leaned forward.

"What do you want?"

Cas opened his eyes a little and looked up at Dean. "I... I want..." The words disappeared into staccatoed exhalations. 

Dean moved his hand slowly down Cas' side, from his shoulder to his hip, and then in between his thighs. He smiled again as Cas let out another moan.

************

Dean rolled over and shut off his alarm. The clock read five thirty. He sat up and ran his hands through his hair and rubbed his face. Finally, he got up and got dressed. 

As he fed the horses and worked the ranch, he looked back at the house. Particularly the window to Cas' room. He sighed as he went back to mucking stalls. As he wheeled the full wheelbarrow out of the barn, he noticed someone standing outside. It was Adam.

"Hey. What are you doing up so early?"

Adam shrugged. "Was done sleepin' I guess. So I took a walk and saw you out here and I figured I'd see if ya needed anything."

"I'm good. Thanks, though."

"I saw that, by the way."

"Saw what? Me scooping shit? That's nothin new."

"No, dipshit. You lookin at his window." Adam put his hands in his pockets and looked at Dean. "You know, it ain't a crime to tell someone how you feel..."  
Dean rolled his eyes. "Then it's a damn good thing I don't have feelings."

"Dean, stop lying to yourself. You've been miserable without him and now he's here you're miserable because you're too stubborn."

"He's the one who left. He didn't want this. Any of it. And I doubt that's changed at all. Now, grab a pitchfork and help me with this."

Castiel woke up and decided to shower. He grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom. He stripped and stepped inside, letting the hot water wash over him. Being here, under the same roof as Dean for a week, had to be cruel and unusual punishment. He cleaned himself off and got out, grabbing a towel and drying off. He ran the towel through his hair and got dressed. After, he headed downstairs to get some coffee. He poured himself a cup and headed out to the front porch. 

Cas sipped at his coffee and watched the sunrise over the hill in the distance. He had missed this place, and his friends, and... Dean. Although he hated admitting it. He took another sip of coffee as Adam walked past him into the house. As he and Adam exchanged greetings, Cas' head gaze caught Dean out by the barn, doing his morning work. He was wearing those worn jeans again, the ones that seemed to be barely hanging on to life. Cas bit his lip. "This is absurd," he said out loud to himself.

"What's absurd?"

He almost jumped through the roof of the porch. Charlie had sneaked up on him. Damn, she was good at that. 

"You have got to stop doing that." He said taking another sip of coffee. 

"What's absurd?" She repeated. Castiel sighed. 

"Nothing."

"Liar." She smiled at him. "So, got any plans today?"

Cas sighed. "Yeah... lunch and errands with my family. Joy." He took another sip.

"Yeah, I'm sure." Charlie teased. She looked out at the front lawn. “What time you headin out for this lovely get together?”

“Mom’ll be here in about an hour. And grandma. I haven’t seen them in like, five years.” Case made a bitch face as he finished his sentence. He shot down the rest of his coffee, suddenly wishing he had thrown some whiskey in it. Charlie laughed at him.

“It’s not funny.”

“It really kinda is.”

An hour later, right on schedule, a light blue Malibu slowly made its way up the gravel driveway. Cas heard a horn honk from his room. “Let the games begin,” he said to himself. He picked himself up and made his way to the front door, sighing as he opened it and stepped out onto the porch. A tall, slender woman with long dark hair flounced out of the car with her arms open.

“Castiel, my baby! It has been far too long!”  
Cas braced for impact and forced a smile as he continued to walk toward his mother.”Yeah, it really has. Hi, mom.” She gathered Cas in a tight hug and rocked him back and forth.

“I can’t breathe, mom…”

“Sorry, sorry…” She pulled back and looked her son over, meeting his eyes and smiling. “I’ve just really missed my boy.” Cas and his mother turned toward the car as the horn sounded abruptly.

“Let’s get a move on, kiddies! I ain’t gonna live forever!”

Cas sighed again. “Let’s go before grandma has a stroke.” The horn went off again, and grandma was leaning out of the passenger side window. “Move it, Naomi!”  
Naomi laughed. “Guess we better get moving. Grandma is getting impatient.”

“Guess so.” Cas rubbed his neck and looked back at Charlie, who saluted him with a smartassed smile on her face. Cas flipped her off and smiled back before climbing into the car.

Naomi stopped the car outside of Men's Warehouse in the next town. Cas sighed.

“Really? Tuxes? And I was just starting to enjoy wearing jeans…”

“Oh, stop grumbling. It should be ready to go; your brother went off of the measurements you sent him.” 

Cas opened the door and stepped out of the car. Naomi put an arm around him and lead him inside. Gabriel was already there, along with his friend Michael.  
“Hey there, little brother! Guys, you remember Castiel?” The other men shook Cas’ hand and said hello. Then the seamstress brought out their items.   
Cas stepped out of the changing room and his mother nearly cried. “Castiel James you look absolutely amazing! How is it you're still single? The ladies should be just eating you up…” Cas shot a glare at Gabriel, who was trying not to laugh. He swallowed and forced a smile. “Guess I'm just too busy for lady-hunting, ma. But I do like this jacket. It's nicely tailored. Even if it is a knock-off Armani.” Cas winked at Gabriel, who had to excuse himself because he was laughing so hard. If Cas had to be stuck here with his ridiculous family, who continue to deny who Castiel James Novak really was, then he was going to be as gay as possible for his own entertainment. 

At lunch, everyone else ordered beer and Cas ordered a nice Chardonnay. When they picked up Naomi's dress, Cas made sure to nitpick the fabric and take extra time to find her shoes that complimented the look. Gabriel just watched and laughed.

As Cas and his mother and grandmother drive back to the ranch, Naomi started in again about her son finding a partner.  
“... There is just no reason a handsome and successful man like you should still be single. I mean, I want grandchildren…”

“Mom?”

Naomi turned a little in her seat, keeping her eyes on the road. “Yes, sweetie?”

Cas took a deep breath. “I'm gay.”

She gripped the steering wheel. “Say that again?”

Cas sighed. “I'm gay, mom. I like men. I doubt grandchildren are on the table.” He was shocked at the lack of emotion in his voice.

Silence. Naomi stopped the car. She turned in her seat to face Cas. “And when were you going to tell me this?”

“When it mattered. And now it matters.”

“For… how long, Castiel?”

“Since before I left. Can you just take me back to the Winchesters’ please?” 

And the next twenty minutes was the second most awkward car ride Cas had ever endured. When they came to the tip of the driveway, Cas said goodbye to Naomi and to his grandmother. He was relieved that Naomi hugged him despite the tension. He walked into the house and shut the door a little more aggressively than usual.

“You okay, man?” Adam was in the foyer. 

Cas gave a half smile. “I've been better. Just came out to my mom. She wouldn't shut up about me finding a wife.”

“Well, that would definitely cause some agitation. Here. Beer helps.” Adam tossed a beer to Cas.

“Thanks.” He took a drink. He thought about all of the times he tried to tell his mother before. It was part of the reason he left.

***

Cas got up before the sun, and Dean. He walked out to the barn. "Hey Pandora." He pet the mare's long nose. "Thanks for being there for Dean when I couldn't." The horse snorted in response. Castiel smiled. "You look just like your mom Whiskey." He heard another horse and walked further in the barn to see a brown and white Appaloosa colt. He looked at the name on the door. "RJ aka River Junior" Castiel looked up and smiled. "River, you sly mother fucker." He stepped closer to RJ. "Hey buddy. Your dad was my best friend back in the day." 

Castiel patted RJ's neck and kissed his nose. He exhaled and put his forehead on the horse's’ nose. "This is all so... so... fucking complicated. I don't know what to do. Do I want him? Yes. Does he want me? Probably. Are we both too stubborn to admit it to each other? Definitely. What do you think, RJ?"  
The horse snorted and lipped at Cas. Cas found some treats and gave him a couple. "I'll figure it out. Hopefully." He looked to the house. All the lights were off. He turned back to RJ. 

"Wanna go for a ride?" The horse snorted and nudged him. He smiled and opened the door. He grabbed the blanket and saddle and strapped them on to the horse. He climbed up and positioned himself on the saddle, taking a deep breath. "Alright RJ, take it easy on me. I haven't ridden in twelve years." He clicked his tongue and tugged the reins to the left. RJ responded and trotted out of the barn. He let RJ go into a canter as they headed out. He didn't really know where he wanted to go. He just wanted to ride. He smiled as the memories of just riding around with Dean came to him.

"Alright RJ, floor it." He dug his heels into RJ’s side. As the horse broke into a gallop, Cas hitched his breath and tightened his thighs. RJ was faster than River, which was no small feat, and Cas was not prepared for that. River used to be the fastest horse in three counties. Cas leaned himself forward and let the horse run. They went past the pond and up the trail to the top of "Winchester Cliff" He hopped off and tied RJ to a nearby tree then patted the horse's neck. "Well, you got your daddy beat that's for damn sure." He smiled. 

Castiel stood near the edge of the cliff, looking out at the ravine and the night sky. You could see every star in the sky and it was always a beautiful sight. He wished Dean was there. If he was, Cas would lay him down on the grass and take him right there under the stars. "Stop kidding yourself, Novak," he said out loud to himself. He watched the sky for a few more minutes before mounting RJ and heading back to the barn.

When he got back, Dean was feeding Pandora. Castiel hopped off RJ and led him back to his stall. "See you found RJ. How's he ride?" Dean patted the horse as they passed. "Faster than River. Why didn't you tell me River shacked up with another Appaloosa?" 

"You didn't ask. And it wasn't another Appaloosa. The son of a bitch shacked up with Whiskey. Twice." 

"You're kidding!"

"Nope. Pandora and RJ are brother and sister. Pandora's older by two years. RJ is two years old." Cas scratched his head.

"Well I'll be damned." 

"Yeah, River was a sly one. Much like his owner." Dean said, rubbing Pandora's neck.

Cas rolled his eyes and continued putting the saddle and bridle away.

"Where did you ride out to?"

"The cliff. It's nice out there." Cas turned around. "You know, I'm surprised you didn't just rip my head off for riding him like you did when I petted Pandora." 

"Technically RJ is your horse. I can't yell at you for riding your own horse." Dean looked at him. He watched as Cas grabbed some feed and gave it to RJ. He felt a smile threaten his face.

Cas caught Dean's eye and looked at him. "What?" 

"Nothin. Just, you're actin like you never left is all." He moved to grab a brush and began brushing Pandora. "Oh." Castiel turned back to RJ and pet his neck as the horse ate. He looked at Dean out of the corner of his eye and sighed. "Dean, listen. I really am sorry for leaving the way I did..." 

"Cas, just don't. Not right now." 

"Then when, Dean?" Cas crossed his arms in front of him and stared Dean down. He felt his eyelid start to twitch.  
Dean put his hands in the air and turned away from Cas, so that his back was to him. “I don't know. Just...not now. I've barely even wrapped my head around the fact that you're even here okay?" 

"And, why is it so hard for you, exactly? It's not like you ever..." Cas stopped and sighed. "Never mind. Just...never mind. You don't want me here anyway." He shook his head and turned to leave.

Dean watched him as he passed by. "Dammit." He stepped out of the stall. "I never wanted you to leave in the first place. I mean, dammit Cas, come on! What's so bad about this place?" Dean put his hands on his hips and stared at the back of Castiel’s head. 

Castiel stopped and turned around, locking eyes with Dean. "You knew I was leaving, Dean. You knew for months and the last night I was here you banged me in the back seat of your car, thinking that somehow it would be enough to make me stay. If you wanted me to stay that fucking bad, you could have shown me long before that. But you didn't, did you? And somehow I'm the asshole! I'm not the only one who could have picked up a goddamn phone and called. You could have easily called me. So excuse me if I don't beg for forgiveness. The only thing I can say is I'm sorry. Okay? I'm sorry I just took off and didn't say a word. I'm sorry I didn't come back. I'm-" He inhaled sharply. "I'm sorry I hurt you. I… I never meant to. I didn't want to. I regret it every damn morning when I wake up and every fucking night before I go to bed." 

There it was. The apology Dean had waited for. A true, sincere one. Dean stared at Cas, his heart pounding in his chest.

"I didn't know you wanted me to call," Dean said slowly. 

"No, Dean. I wanted you to fight for me. And you didn't." Dean just stood there, staring at Castiel. 

"Fuck my life!" Cas shouted, throwing his hands in the air. He paced for a second before letting RJ out of his stall. He mounted the horse and took off; no saddle, no reins, just holding tight to the horse's' mane and using leg commands. He sped out of the barn, needing to get into the cool morning air. It was all too much. Too many emotions at one time.

“Go after him,” Dean thought to himself. He jumped on Pandora, throwing only her bridle on her. "Gun it, Pan!" The horse took off. Cas already had a good distance on him and RJ was definitely faster than Pandora. But Pan had distance. She could run all day if she had to, like Whiskey before her. There were only so many places Cas would go on this ranch. The cliff being one. But he was just there. And with RJ's speed and Cas with no reins, the horse wouldn't be able to stop in time and could throw Cas into the ravine. "Dammit. Faster Pan! We have to catch them!" 

Dean stopped several hundred feet before the pond and listened. "Where the fuck did he go..." He listened again, catching the faint sound of hooves to his west. He kicked Pandora into gear and headed toward the sound. Finally, he saw the silhouette of Cas and RJ on a hill overlooking the ranch. Castiel hadn't dismounted yet. Dean trotted Pandora up behind them.

"Cas..." Dean called out, his voice shaky. Cas turned around.

"Yeah?" Dean rode up next to Cas and RJ and looked at Cas.

"That… was a dumb ass move."

"Come again?" 

"Umm, taking off on a horse without any sort of equipment that could possibly keep you from dying should he stop suddenly and throw you."

"I was in a hurry."

"Oh," Dean licked his lips and nodded. "You were in a hurry. For what, exactly?"

"I'm… Ya know, I'm not really sure right now. I was just in a hurry."

"Or just running." Dean said. 

Cas moved RJ so that he could face Dean. "Dean. I honestly don't know what I was doing or what I'm feeling or what the fuck is even going on right now and I needed to get some air so... I did the easiest thing I could think of."

"So, running."

"I didn't get in my car and take off, so I like to think of it as taking a walk." Cas shrugged and looked up at the stars. Dean dismounted Pandora and walked over to Cas. 

"Get down." 

"What?" Cas looked at Dean, confused.

"You heard me. Now get down. Please." Cas rolled his eyes and took a deep breath, exhaling slowly. He swung his leg over RJ’s back and began to dismount.   
Cas’ feet had barely hit the ground when he felt himself being pulled. Dean had reached an arm around his waist and dragged him quickly toward him. Dean had his mouth on Cas' in less than a second. Cas went rigid for a moment before relaxing. He put his hands on Dean's hips and opened up to him, allowing Dean to explore his mouth with his tongue.

Dean felt Cas melt into him and smiled. He pulled away after a few seconds. "I'm sorry I didn't fight for you then. I want you to stay. Please. I can't watch you leave again. It almost destroyed me last time. Please Cas, stay." He took in a shaky breath. "I love you."   
Castiel looked up at Dean and took a deep breath. "That's all I needed. This. This right here. You fought for me this time. Showed me that I'm more than just a good time in the backseat. I’m worth something to you." He flashed a smile at Dean before kissing him again. "I love you, too," he said against Dean's lips. "Always have. Even when I tried to act like I didn’t." The kiss continued for several minutes before Cas pulled away. He gave Dean a mischievous look.

"What?"

"Race ya."

Cas broke away from Dean and mounted RJ in what seemed like one stride and darted off. 

"Oh, no you don't..." Dean leapt onto Pandora and heeled her into action, taking off after Cas.  
Cas naturally beat Dean back to the barn and was already dismounted and had RJ back in the stall. Dean hopped of Pandora and led her to her stall. "That wasn't a fair race when you have the fastest horse in the history of ever." Dean smiled. 

"There you two are! We've been calling for an hour!" Charlie said, walking into the barn with the rest of the gang on her heels. "Where the hell were you?" 

"Went for a ride." Dean said as he took off Pan's saddle. 

"A ride. Ride as in..." Charlie raised an eyebrow.

"Get your mind outta the gutter, Red." Castiel said to her. 

Charlie eyed Cas and Dean, smirking. "Well you two seem to have made up." 

"And how would you know that?" 

Charlie leaned toward Cas’ ear and spoke in a half-whisper. "Because Dean looks like he wants to ride you instead of Pandora." 

"Shut up, Charlie. I heard that." Dean shot her a look. Charlie grinned and then headed back to the house. 

"Well, she isn't wrong." Dean glanced sideways at Cas before following Charlie out. Cas bit his lip and crossed his arms, watching Dean walk away.

"Stop staring at my ass."

"What? I wasn't... staring... at anything."

Dean turned around and looked at Cas, walking backwards. He winked and smiled, then turned and kept walking. Adam punched Cas in the arm. "Welcome back." Cas laughed. "Thanks." They walked inside and everyone sat in the living room. 

"Okay, fill us in! I'm dying over here! You two have been my only source of entertainment." Charlie gushed. "Hey!" Meg playfully slapped her arm.

"There's not much to tell." Dean said. 

"So you stayin Cas?" Benny asked. 

Cas looked at his friends. "I'm stayin." Charlie squealed and jumped on him, giving him a tight hug. "Jesus calm down!" Cas laughed. Charlie kept her hold on him. 

"Can't. Breathe. Dying..."

"Sorry! I'm just really happy!"

Cas coughed. "I'd hate to see you ecstatic then."

"This calls for celebration." Benny said. Charlie jumped up. "Oh my gosh yes! We could do all the things we used to! Play pool, go horseback riding, take Benny's truck down main street, and top it off with a famous Winchester bonfire!" 

"I think Charlie is gonna explode..." Cas whispered to Dean. 

"Yeah, I think you might be right..." 

"Hey! No secrets."

"With you as a friend, secrets are impossible." Dean laughed as Charlie flicked him in the throat. 

Adam stood up. "Well, let's get to it. Party time, y'all. These two idjits finally coming to terms with their feelings calls for celebration."

"First things first, I need a damn shower." Cas said. He stood up and looked at Dean. "Care to join me?" He extended a hand to Dean, wagging his eyebrows. Charlie was jumping up and down squealing. Dean ignored her and stood up, taking Cas’ hand. "Right behind ya." 

Benny stood up slowly. "I'm going outside. Have fun." He gave Dean a thumbs up and headed to the back porch. "Charlie, get your ass out here. Knowin' you, you'll have your damn ear to the damn door and that's just damn inconsiderate." Charlie snapped her fingers as she stood up to follow Benny. “Well, damn.”

Dean opened the door to the bathroom and walked in. Cas was already there, leaning over the tub and turning on the water. He heard the door shut behind him and looked up.  
"  
Hey, Dea..." Dean cut him off, taking over his mouth and shoving him against the bathroom wall. Cas let out a low moan and thrust his tongue into Dean's mouth, his hands under Dean's shirt and moving slowly up his back. 

Dean pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside, already working on Cas' jeans. Cas tugged off his own shirt. Dean pulled Cas' pants down and worked on his own as Cas kicked his jeans and boxers to the side. Dean did the same, barely kicking his jeans off as he reclaimed Cas' mouth and backed him into the shower. The hot water washed over them. Dean took a moment to admire Cas. 

The years had definitely been good to the man. He must have started working out or something because good God, it was like he was made by the gods themselves; sunkissed skin pulled tight over his slender, muscular frame. Dean kissed Cas’ jawline and then his neck. He slowly moved down Cas' toned torso to those 'fuck me' hips of his. He was pretty sure Cas' hips could be considered a sexuality at this point. He moved down and flicked his tongue across Cas' tip. Cas sucked in a breath. Dean licked a trail down to the base then took Cas in his mouth. Cas moaned, grabbing a fist full of Dean's wet hair. Cas propped himself up against the shower wall, face toward the ceiling. He felt his eyelids flutter shut as the sensation of Dean's mouth on his swollen cock took him over. 

Dean continued to work, flicking his tongue at the slit, making Cas shudder and punch the wall. Dean smiled and did it again. Cas let out a loud moan this time, not bothering to try and hide it. "Dammit, Dean. You're trying to make quick work of me, aren't you?" Dean looked up. "Maybe a little. We have more than enough time to take it slow later." He nipped at Cas' tip then flicked his tongue across the slit once more. Cas moaned loudly. 

Dean began to move up and down Cas' shaft, his tongue soft but rough at the same time. Cas felt his hips start to move in rhythm with Dean's mouth. He put his head back again and slowed his breathing. At this rate, he’d be done in a couple of minutes. Cas wanted to make himself last a little longer. 

Dean took himself in his hand and stroked slowly, moaning into Cas. "Fuck Dean!" Cas bit his lip as the vibration traveled down his dick to the base. Dean slowed his head but moved his hand faster, moaning again. Cas dug his nails into the shower wall and fucked himself into Dean's mouth. "Damn...feels so good Dean," He breathed. Dean used his free hand to stroke Cas in rhythm with his mouth.

Cas was able to enjoy this treatment for several more minutes when he felt a sudden pressure at the base of his dick, simultaneously with another flick of Dean's tongue at his slit. "Damn.... Dean.... Mmmm…." Dean noticed that Cas' rhythm had faltered. His moans changed into small, high-pitched gasps. Dean smiled and did it again. Cas slipped down the wall a little as his knees buckled.

"Oh... my... I'm almost..." Cas couldn't speak. The words weren't even forming in his brain. He felt a warmth in his groin. His hips became erratic. And his breathing was harsh and fast. "De...Dean...I'm.... oh, holy fuck..." Cas saw stars and his head flew back as he came. Dean didn't move; he stayed where he was, taking all of Cas into his mouth. Cas felt his cock twitch out the last of its come. He leaned forward and put his hands on Dean's shoulders.   
Dean waited until he was sure Cas was done before pulling back and getting to his feet. He swallowed hard, then gargled the hot shower water, which he spit into the drain. He laughed at Cas, who was leaned against the shower wall, eyes closed and cheeks flushed. "Been awhile?"

"You have no idea." Cas moved toward Dean and kissed him, taking Dean's erection in his hand and stroked him slowly. Dean sucked in a breath. He was close just listening to Cas as he got off. His eyes slipped closed and he bit his lip, a moan still escaping. "Fuck Cas..." 

Cas smiled as he twisted his hand up. Dean's mouth fell open in a moan. He felt heat coil. "God Cas...don't stop..." He breathed. Cas moved his hand faster. He twisted up and Dean's head fell back as he came. "Cas...I love you." Cas claimed Dean's mouth as he stroked Dean through his orgasm. 

"I love you, too." He whispered into Dean's lips. Dean slid down the shower wall to the floor of the tub, taking Cas with him in his arms. The water was still on. Cas buried his face in Dean's chest and sighed. "You mean, we could have been doing that for the last decade but we choose not to?"

"Uh-huh."

"Damn. We are idiots."

"Yeah. We've definitely been missing out." 

Once they were finally able to stand, they washed off and got out of the shower. Dean tossed Cas a towel and both of them went to get dressed. Cas put on a faded pair of jeans and a black button up which he left open to show off his snug white tank top. He grabbed his aviators off the dresser and walked downstairs. As soon as Charlie saw him, she whistled. "Where were you hiding that outfit?" Cas just flipped her off and moved into the kitchen. Charlie smiled. 

"Now that's my Cas!"

"Yeah yeah, the old Cas is back which means you're all in a shit load of trouble." He grinned and grabbed a beer from the fridge.   
Adam looked at Dean. "Dude, I don't really want details, but what the hell happened in there? He did a total three sixty..."

"I don't kiss and tell." Dean took a beer from the fridge, opened it, and took a big drink. "What's on the agenda, folks?" 

"I guess the pool hall first." Cas said, walking backwards to the door. "I heard that by the way Adam." He turned the knob and pushed the front door open with his foot. "Uh oh. Do I feel a famous Cas back flip coming?" Charlie teased. 

Cas wagged his eyebrows. "You had to get him started, didn't you Charlie?" Dean smiled. 

"Hey, you're the one who brought it out of him in the shower apparently." Cas walked back to the edge of the porch and set his beer down. He pushed of the porch with his feet and did a back flip in the air, landing on his feet. He straightened with a smile. "Boom bitches. That's right. I still got it." Cas put on his aviators. 

"Let's go mother fuckers." 

"Okay, show off. Get in the car." Dean climbed into the driver's seat of the Impala. Cas slid into the passenger side. 

Silence. 

"Everything okay, there, hot shot?" Dean glanced over at Cas.

Cas looked around. "Yeah, it's all fine it's just that... the last time I was in this car I woke up in the backseat with no clothes on."

Dean smiled as he turned the key in the ignition. "That was a damn good night."

"Yeah. It was."

"And I'm sure we can reenact it later." 

Cas smiled. "Looking forward to it. But ,this time, I'm not gonna take off afterwards." Dean leaned in and kissed Cas quickly, biting at his lip as he pulled back.

"Good."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hola peeps! We hope you're enjoying our story so far! We just wanted to thank everyone for reading, commenting, and giving kudos! We really appreciate it! 
> 
> Anywhore....
> 
> ENJOY CHAPTER FIVE!!

The group pulled into the parking lot at the pool hall. Charlie, Benny, Meg, and Adam jumped out of Benny's truck and walked in. Inside the Impala, Dean reached for the door handle to let himself out. He was interrupted by Cas pulling him backwards, kissing him full on the mouth. Dean let out a small groan as Cas held him there for a minute, feasting on his lips slowly. Cas pulled back and kissed Dean on the tip of his nose and smiled. Dean smiled back. "Hi."

"Hey."

Dean flashed his green eyes up at Cas. "Don't make me bend you over a pool table in front of our friends. They're lucky we're even out right now, instead of in my room, or by the pond..."

Cas laughed. "Very true. Let's go in before they get the wrong idea."

"Well, it wouldn't be wrong..."

Cas kissed Dean roughly again before playfully shoving him back into a sitting position and getting out of the car.

************

Eleven Years Ago   
Dean, Charlie, Meg, Adam, and Benny were all at the pool hall. Benny snuck a few beers from the bartender as he usually did. "This isn't as much fun when you're missing a member." Charlie sighed. Dean leaned over the pool table. "Not much we can do Charlie. It's been a year. I think it's safe to say he ain't comin back." Dean took his shot and accidentally sunk the eight ball. "Dammit."

"You play better with Cas."

"Can you just, I don't know, stop talking about him?" 

"Somebody's still butt hurt." 

"Seriously Charlie. Stop." 

***

Castiel was tapping his pencil on his notebook, going over his notes. He planned on starting his own software company after college. Or before, if he could get the funding. He sighed and looked at his clock. 1:37 AM. He ran his hand down his face then stretched in his chair.   
It seemed more and more he would think about Dean just as much as he thought about school or starting his business. Dean must hate him by now. It had been a year after all. 

He threw his pencil down and picked up his cell phone. Maybe Dean still had the same number. Maybe he was thinking about Cas just as much as Cas was thinking about him. Or maybe...Dean had moved on. What if Dean had moved on? Was with someone else?  
Castiel set his phone back on the desk. If Dean had moved on, so would he. 

***********

“Jeez boys! Can't even last a few minutes by yourselves?” Charlie was eyeing them as they walked into the bar.

“Ha ha, Charlie. You are hilarious.” Dean flipped her off and gave her a look as he and Cas joined the others at the pool tables.   
They broke into teams; Cas and Dean, Adam and Meg, Benny and Charlie. They rotated who played winner for most of the night.  
Dean was a little disgusted with how happy he was. Seeing Cas laughing and being with everyone was amazing, even more amazing was the fact that, at the end of night, Cas was his and the other way around. Dean walked behind Cas as Cas chalked his pool cue, giving his ass a light squeeze. Cas almost dropped the chalk.  
“Can I help you?” Cas smiled as he gave Dean a sideways glance. Dean leaned in and whispered in the other man's ear. “Nope. Well, at least not right now. But I'm sure I can think of something later.”

Cas shuddered a little. “Dammit, Dean.” Dean laughed in response as he walked back to take his shot.

They shot and drank for a few more hours before filing out of the bar. “So, what now?” Adam sat himself on the bed of Benny's truck. Dean shrugged.“Umm, I don't know… Hey. What about a bonfire? Haven't had one of those in a while.”

“Hell yeah! Let's do it!” Benny hopped in his truck and fired it up. “Let's get on, kids!” He blasted the horn.   
“You heard the man. Let's go.” Dean and Cas got into the Impala, the rest in the truck, and they all headed back to the ranch.

Out back behind Dean's house, Adam and Benny were starting a fire, with protests from Charlie on how they were doing it wrong.  
“That's enough! Oh my gosh… Guys… That's gasoline…”

“Keep your panties on, Red. I'm a professional.”

“Yeah, Benny. Sure. A professional arsonist from what it looks like.”

Adam turned to face Charlie as he lit a match. “You might want to step back.” Charlie's eyes widened. “Oh shit!” She turned and ran toward the parked vehicles.

BOOM.

Dean was standing against the back of the Impala, Cas leaning on Dean with his back to him, holding Dean's hands around his waist. “Our friends are dangerous…” Dean laughed. “Yes. Yes they are.”

“Woooo! Now that is a damn fire!” Benny howled. Adam stood back and looked at he and Benny's handiwork. They both took a drink of their beers. 

“I'm surprised you didn't level the homestead.” 

Benny turned around and smiled at Dean. “Nah. I'm a professional.” Dean shook his head. Meg walked up behind the friends. “Alright, ladies. I brought the boys. Let's party!”

For another couple of hours, bottles of Jim, Jack, and Jose were passed around. The radio in the truck was turned up as high as it went. They sang, joked, and danced around like they did back in high school. Dean even got out his guitar and played a little. Cas remembered how much he loved to watch Dean play, his fingers dancing on the strings so expertly. And listening to Dean sing was heaven. Cas had to bring himself back to reality when he realized he forgot that his friends were there. 

Benny stood up. “Well, y'all. I'm done. See ya all tomorrow.” He hugged the girls and saluted the guys before driving off. Soon enough, the girls had gone back to the house and so did Adam, leaving Dean and Cas alone, truly alone, for the first time since they got together. Cas had sat himself on the hood of the car and was staring at the sky. 

“You don't see this in the city, do you?” Dean stood next to where Cas was sitting. Cas shook his head. “Nope. Definitely not.” He sighed, still looking up at the sky. “I didn't realize how much I missed all of this.”

Dean moved so he was in front of Cas, standing between his legs with his arms wrapped around him. Dean laid his head on Cas’ shoulder. “I didn't realize how much I missed you.” Cas felt a stab in his heart. He kissed the top of Dean's head. “Same. Jeez, we're dumb.” Dean laughed and picked his head up, looking into those electric blue eyes. 

Dean couldn't wait any longer. They were finally alone, and Dean had a chance to do what he hadn't done in twelve years. He reached his arm around Cas' waist and pulled him almost off of the hood of the Impala, kissing him. Cas opened up to Dean, letting him explore his mouth with his tongue. Dean felt Cas' hands making their way up his torso, slowly, as if they hadn't been there before. Dean decided he'd cut Castiel some slack; it had been a long time. He pulled Cas’ shirt over his head and dropped it to the ground. Cas moved so he was off of the hood, standing up against Dean. He worked his hands under Dean's shirt again, this time forcing it over Dean's head and letting it fall to the ground. Castiel pulled Dean to him so that there was no space between them at all, just skin on skin in the mid summer night air. Cas thrust his tongue into Dean’s mouth for a few seconds, then pulled back, biting at Dean's bottom lip. The sound that came from Dean was damn near primal.

Dean couldn't help himself, he couldn't stand it. He picked Cas up, crawled on the hood, and laid Cas down, Cas’ bare back flat against the cool metal. He worked the button and zipper of Cas' jeans and yanked them to Cas' ankles, causing Cas' boxers to go along for the ride down. Dean worked to free himself of his own garments, finally kicking them aside. He pressed himself down on Cas, pushing and grinding down on Cas' growing erection. Cas gasped and his head fell back to the hood. Dean bit his lip at the strong feeling of pleasure and pain that was ringing through him as his own erection grew. He pushed down onto Cas a little harder, dragging himself along Cas’ length.

Cas let out a deep, guttural moan that surprised even himself. Dean was working his mouth from his neck to his chest and down his torso. Cas dug at the smooth hood of the car with his fingertips. It had been such a long time, and Dean somehow knew, no… remembered... exactly what to do to set him off. Cas felt his hips jerk forward as Dean stopped to nip at his hip bones. And then Cas felt Dean's mouth swallowing his erection, his tongue moving freely over the skin. He let Dean work for a few minutes until he couldn't stand it any longer.

"Dean..."

Dean pulled back and looked up at Cas. "Yeah?" Dean was hit with a flashback of a scene from what seemed like a lifetime ago. He grinned.  
“What do you want?”

Cas smiled the best he could when he figured out what Dean was getting at. Then he spoke with a wrecked voice. "I... want you. I want to feel you inside me..." He lifted his hips from the hood of the car.

Dean smiled and looked up at Cas. "Hearing that again makes the twelve year wait so, so worth it." He moved up slowly, kissing as he went. He took himself into his hand and rubbed his tip over Cas' hole, letting the precome become the lube. After a few seconds, he slowly pushed himself inside Cas. He closed his eyes and dropped his head as he felt Cas close around him.

Dean let the sensation take him over. He opened his eyes and looked at Cas, watching Cas' muscles tense and relax as he pushed in more. Cas let out a soft moan and lifted his hips, spurring Dean on. He pushed in the rest of the way and worked his hips back and forth as he lowered himself on Cas.   
Cas had forgotten how good Dean felt inside him. He wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist, pushing him deeper. "Oh, it's like that?" Dean whispered. Cas opened his eyes. "Well, it has been twelve years." Dean grabbed Cas' legs and pushed them to his chest, driving himself further inside Cas and hitting the sweet spot. Cas squeezed his eyes shut and moaned loudly. "There it is." Dean whispered.

Internally, Cas was cursing himself for not coming back sooner. It was like Dean had memorized every inch of his body. Now that Dean had found Cas' prostate, he hit it repeatedly, sending Cas into oblivion. Cas couldn't see straight if he tried at this point. 

Dean sped up his pace, still nailing that certain spot deep inside Cas. Cas was moving his hips in unison with Dean by now, and Dean was unraveling fast.  
"Cas... I'm close..." The only response Dean got was a low moan.

Dean hit Cas' prostate again, causing Cas to feel a familiar warmth in his groin. "Fuck!" Cas moaned as his head fell back again. He arched his back. "Dean..." He breathed, working his hand up and down his own shaft. Dean hit the cluster of nerves again and Cas came undone. "God Dean...I'm coming!" he breathed, stroking himself through his orgasm. 

"Cas...so good... so..." Dean bit his lip and slowed his pace slightly. A few thrusts later and Dean was coming as well. 

They both stayed still until they could breath properly and see straight. Dean slowly removed himself and backed off the hood of the Impala. Cas sat up, staring at Dean as his breathing returned to normal. His cheeks were flushed and his hair a mess. "How the hell did you remember what to do? We only had sex once." He climbed off the hood. 

Dean zipped up his jeans and smiled. "Because I would play it over and over in my head."

Castiel smiled at Dean. He finished pulling his pants back on and walked over to him, planting a kiss on Dean's lips. "Aww, you big softy. But I'm really glad you did." Dean smiled and rolled his eyes. "Come on billionaire. Let's get to bed." He put out the fire and put one arm around Cas, leading him to the house. Cas cracked a smile. "What?"

Cas shook his head. "Nothing I just had a funny thought."

"What was it?"

"Best make up sex ever."

Dean laughed. "So, tomorrow it will just be regular, awesome sex? I'm okay with that."

"Oh no." Cas began. He kissed Dean gently. "We still have twelve years to make up for."

 

"Are they...?"

"Yup."

"Did they...?"

“Looks like it."

Dean opened his eyes halfway. "You know I can hear you, right?"

"Oh, you're awake." 

Dean sat up. "Well when four people are standing around you talking..."

"So...we noticed Cas is sleeping in your bed, and both of your clothes are everywhere..."

"Very observant, Charlie. Why are you in here, exactly?"

Benny rolled his eyes. “‘Cause someone couldn’t leave well enough alone if she tried.”

"Dean and Cas sitting in a tree..." Charlie began to dance around.

"And off she goes." Dean lay back down on the pillow.

Meg joined in. "B-A-N-G-I-N-G!" 

"Really?"

"First comes love, then comes-"

"Finish that sentence and I'll kill you."

A low, rough voice spoke up. "Just ignore her. She'll stop eventually." Cas still had his face in his pillow.

"No. I really don't think so, Cas."

Cas opened one eye and saw Charlie spinning around with Meg singing that stupid song over and over. Cas groaned. Dean through a pillow at them.

"Hey!"

"Hey, yourself. Now, everyone amscray. We'll be out in a bit."

Benny started to herd the friends out. "C'mon y'all, let's let them have their morning. Move it."

Dean watched them file out of his room and saw the door close, only for it to open again with Adam's face peering through and giving Dean a thumbs up. Dean gave Adam the middle finger, and Adam finally left.

"Sorry about that, Cas."

Castiel rolled over to face Dean. "Honestly, I expected it. Now, get over here and remind me why I'm selling a multi-billion dollar software company again."

“Oh, I plan on reminding you every chance I get.” Dean moved as close as he could to Cas, taking his mouth in a soft kiss.

The door flew open again. Charlie and Meg started taking pictures. "Paparazzi!" Charlie yelled. 

"So Mr. Novak, how did it feel having sex with your high school crush turned lover?" Meg asked. 

Dean sat up. "I swear to God if you don't get out and stay out I'll chase you down naked and throw you in the pond!"

"Paparazzi hater! We have bills to pay!" Meg looked at Charlie. "Oh my god! Great idea!"

"Don't you dare."

"I can see it now! Castiel Novak caught in bed with ex high school lover..."

"Charlie, I know where you live."

"Cough up the dough Novak."

"Are you blackmailing me?"

"Maybe."

Cas grabbed his boxers and put them on under the blanket. He got up, ran across the room and grabbed their phones, pushing past them.  
They chased him through the house and outside. The rest of the gang followed, including Dean, after he put on some pants.  
Cas ran all the way out to the pond and launched both phones into the water.

"I can't believe you just did that!"

"I'll buy you new ones." He laughed and walked past them. 

"Oh no. You're gonna pay for that!" They grabbed him and dragged him to the pond, pushing him in. Benny, Adam and Dean laughed. 

"Alright! You win! Help me up." He held out his hands. They each grabbed one. 

Cas pulled them down to the water and got out.

The girls sputtered and splashed as their heads broke the surface. 

"Ha ha, Cas. You're hilarious!"

Cas walked away from the pond, soaked but proud of himself.   
"Like I said, I'll buy you new phones!" he shouted over his shoulder. 

Benny and Adam had pulled the girls out of the water and were walking back toward the house. Up ahead, Dean and Cas were laughing and walking when Dean suddenly stopped and grabbed Cas by the arm, spinning him around to face Dean. Dean lifted Cas' chin with a finger and kissed him full on the mouth, his other   
hand in the tangled mass of wet hair on Cas' head. Cas smiled as he pulled back.

"What was that for?"

"For being you. And for being here."

Cas kissed Dean again. 

"I need pants."

Dean shook his head. "Nah. Are you sure? Because I'm fine with this..."

"Asshat, I'm not going to meet my brother's new bride in my wet boxers."

Dean nodded. “Good point.” He took Cas by the hand and started toward the house.

************

Twelve Years Ago

“Mornin’, Cas.”

“Morning, Benny. How goes it?”

Benny nodded as he reached up into the locker he shared with Cas. “It goes. You know the drill.” As the boys gathered their things for their first class, Cas dropped a stack of papers. 

“Shit!” Cas immediately stooped to pick up the scattered papers. Benny bent down to help.

“Benny, really it’s fine. Don’t worry…” Benny had picked up a large envelope addressed to Cas, the return address from Dallas. 

“What school is in Dallas?” Benny squinted at the envelope for a second before Cas grabbed it from him. 

“Nothing. It’s… nothing.” Cas tucked the envelope into his bag and looked sheepishly up at Benny. 

“Bullshit, Cas.” Benny stared Cas down until he finally broke.

“Okay, fine. But don’t tell anyone. Especially Dean.”

“Well get to talkin’. We ain’t got all day.”

“I got accepted into a scholarship program for aspiring horse trainers. Specializing in racing. Not. A. Word.” Cas squinted his eyes at his friend.

“But, I thought you said you were going to Stanford…”

“I am.” 

Cas picked up his books and walked off to class.

************

Cas stirred in his bed. He could sense a faint amount of sunlight as his eyelids fluttered. And then he sensed that he was being watched. He rolled over.   
“Woah, there, Cas. I didn’t expect a show.”

He opened his eyes to see Charlie standing over him. The sheet was draped low around his hips, dangerously close to flashing her. 

“Not my fault you don’t knock or, heaven forbid, wait.” He pulled the sheet up higher and sat up. Charlie plopped herself next to him. “Thought we could go for a walk and chat. I haven’t been able to talk to you much.”

Cas nodded. “Sounds good. I’ll just get dressed and we can head out then.”

“Okay, great.” Charlie smiled at Cas. Cas looked at her and flashed a quick grin.

“Umm, so… get out so I can put pants on?” 

Charlie jumped up and laughed. “Oh yeah! No problem! See you downstairs.”

Cas threw himself back on the pillow with a sigh before prying himself out of bed. 

After he got dressed and met Charlie downstairs, they started to walk out back, Charlie drilling him for details on everything she could; how he started his company, his life in California, and, most importantly to her, his love life.

“Really, Charlie? Come on…” He rolled his eyes at his friend.

Charlie linked arms with Cas and batted her eyes at him. “Pretty, pretty, pretty please?! I mean, I know you and Dean are back together and all but you had to have had some romantic encounters since you’ve been gone.”

Cas sighed. “Well, there have been a few…”

“Tell me!” Charlie squealed into Cas’ ear, making him wince. 

“Jeez, fine! There was a guy in college that I hit it off with pretty well for a few months until he graduated. Law major.”

Charlie was staring him down. She wanted more information and a stare down is how she always got it when they were kids. Cas rolled his eyes. 

“Then there was a girl…”

“Wait, what?! A chick?! Seriously?!”

“Yes, Charlie. I had sex with a woman. Alert the media. I’m sure I’m not the only gay man who has experimented with a female before.”

“Probably not. Dean has…”

Cas looked at his friend. “He has?”

Charlie nodded and kept walking, arm still linked with Cas’. “Yeah. Never stayed with one for long, but he has had a few girlfriends. Probably because he didn’t know what to do without you.” She gave Cas a small half-smile. He flicked his eyes ahead. 

“Don’t beat yourself up, buddy. You’re here now and that’s what matters to him.”

Cas swallowed. “Yeah, but it still hurts. If I had just stood up to my parents and stayed here... I wanted to come back, you know. But I thought it was too late. That everyone hated me.”

Charlie stopped walking and put her hands on Cas’ shoulders. “Let’s get one thing straight here, mister, and it’s not you. No one here has ever hated you. Missed you, yeah of course, but we always talked about you coming back one day. And here you are. We love you, Castiel. Hell, you could’ve just rolled up to Dean’s doorstep and he would have let you in.”

Cas smiled. “Good to know. I just…” He stopped and stared ahead of them. Charlie looked around.

“What? What’s wrong?” Cas pulled away from her and took a few steps forward. 

“The barn… It’s… it’s gone.”

Charlie licked her lips and watched him. Her face fell a little. “I forgot that you didn’t know what happened.”

“Oh. Is this where… John and Mary…?” Cas’ eyes scanned the scene in front of him.

Charlie stared at the charred remains of the barn. “Yeah. It was awful. I thought we were gonna lose Dean. He had been a bigger drinker to begin with since you left, but this…” She walked over to two memorial crosses next to the old foundation and knelt down. “It damn near killed him.”

Cas walked next to the barn, running his hand on the few pieces that were still upright. You could still smell a faint tinge of smoke coming from the blackened wood. “What happened?”

“Well, I’m not completely sure, but from I was told, John and Mary were in here cleaning up one night and a lamp got knocked over into an empty stall. It caught immediately, with all the wood and straw. They let the horses out, Pan and RJ and River, but the fire was in full blaze and Mary got trapped. John wouldn’t leave without her. They… they found John trapped under a downed support beam and Mary had her foot in a hole in the floor. By the time we could get all the way out here, there was nothing anyone could do but put the flames out. Dean just stared. He didn’t even move.” 

************

Three Years Earlier

"Mom? Dad? I'm back! Brought the gang with me!"  
Dean and his friends headed into the kitchen. When neither parent answered, Dean just shrugged. "Guess they're still out at the barn. They've been cleaning it all damn day." He took some beers out of the fridge and passed them around to his friends. They all moved to the living room and sat down. "So Dean, ever think about getting rid of that car of yours?" Benny asked. Dean just smiled and took a drink. "Hell no. Never gonna happen."

"But what if you die? Who gets it then?"

"Fuck if I know. Sammy probably, if I don't ever have kids."

"What's he gonna do with a car like that in Dallas and being a lawyer?"

"Take care of it. That's all I care about."

They sat there, talking and drinking for some time until Dean heard the horses, especially River, neighing.

"Guess they got out. Better help round 'em up. Especially River. Crazy ass horse." He got up, taking his beer with him.

He opened the glass sliding door to the back deck, taking a drink of his beer as he stepped out.

River was going insane. Bucking and rearing up on his hind legs. "The fuck is wrong with you?" The horse didn't stop. Dean just rolled his eyes. "Stupid horse. Just like your owner."

Dean put the beer to his lips and looked forward. Black smoke was rising not too far out. The barn. "Shit!" He dropped the bottle. "Call the fire department! The fucking barn is on fire!" He yelled through the door before running off the deck. The others were right behind him.

As soon as the barn came into sight, Dean stopped. The fire had engulfed the whole barn and the roof was starting to cave. "Oh my God!" Charlie's hand flew over her mouth in a gasp. Dean's eyes scanned the area around the barn. He didn't see either of his parents. "No..." He took a few slow steps forward. "No...no no no!"  
He took off in a dead sprint. Before he got any closer, Benny grabbed Dean around the waist. Dean fought Benny, and hard. "No! They're still in there! Let me the fuck go! When the fire department arrived, Dean just stood there, not moving. Not talking.

The firefighters put out the fire. The state police were asking everyone questions. Dean didn't answer a single question. He just stared at what was left of the barn. He didn't look away when they brought out two closed body bags. 

"One female, one male, both appear to be in their mid to late fifties..."

Benny walked over to the cops. "Hey, uh, could you not do that here? Their oldest son is sitting right over there." The officers nodded. 

Benny walked over to Charlie, both looked at Dean. Adam walked over. "What do we do?" 

"What can we do other than just be here for him? Sam too." 

"He was messed up over Cas leaving, then Whiskey, now this? How much can the guy take?" 

The friends stood and watched for a while as the responders worked. Finally, Meg looked around. "Uh, guys? Where's Dean?" The group took off for the house, calling out his name. They found Dean sitting on the floor in the living room, looking at pictures of him and his parents. Tears streaming down his face as he went through them. He stopped on a picture of him and Cas their junior year standing in the barn with Whiskey and River. "Where are you when I need you Cas?" He looked at the picture for a minute longer then threw all of them a side. He stood up and kicked over the coffee table, then pushed everything off the mantle above the fireplace. He grabbed a fire poker and hit the couch repeatedly.

"Dean!"

Benny grabbed Dean around the waist, pinning his arms to his side. Dean struggled against him. Benny lifted him off his feet and took him into the kitchen, setting him next to the island. Dean slowly slid to the floor. Benny knelled in front of him. Dean's face held no emotion whatsoever. He stared blankly in front of him. Benny could tell he had already been drinking but didn't know how much. Dean had gotten good at draining a bottle pretty fast after Cas left. 

"Where is he when I need him Benny?" Dean flicked his eyes to his friend. "Why would he just leave? Now...now you guys and Sam are all I have left. What am I gonna tell Sam?" Dean looked up at Benny. Benny didn't know what to say. Dean was beyond hurt. 

“You're gonna call… Dean. Really.” Dean had reached up to the counter and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Benny took it from him and stared him down. “You're gonna call your brother, sober. You're gonna tell him to come home.”

“Yeah.” Dean closed his eyes and put his head back against the side of the island. “I want Cas.” 

Benny sighed and ran a hand through Dean's hair. “I know.”

************

Cas felt like he could vomit. He looked at the ground and shook his head. “I should have been here. How did Dean pull himself out of his pit?”

“Honestly? I don’t know. It’s like he just woke up one day and was himself again. That was about a year ago.”

“So, for two years Dean just, drank and screwed his way through life?”

“And worked. He built the new barn with Benny. And one day, I came over and poof. Dean was back. He had cleaned the house, put on decent clothes. Shaved his face. I just hugged him and cried. He cried too.” Charlie sighed. “It’s been tough. On everyone.”

“Everyone but me.” Cas put his hands in his pockets and stepped to the side. “I was living my life, having a decent time in my comfortable apartment and shiny office and you all were here. Suffering. I’m an ass. I honestly don’t know how you can all be so welcoming after what I did.”

Charlie stepped up next to Cas and put a hand on his shoulder. “We can’t fault you for what you didn’t know. Like I said, you’re here now. And that’s what counts. But, I will warn you that Dean sometimes has flashbacks or PTSD from when his parents died. So just, be easy on him when he does.” She hugged Cas. “He really loves you, ya know? Even when he said he hated you and told us not to bring you up. Sometimes… and don’t you fucking dare tell him I told you this… I’d hear him say your name at night if I was here.”

“Seriously?”

“Yup. He can’t quit you.”

Cas laughed a little. Behind them, a truck came to a stop. It was Benny and Adam.

“Hey there, asshats!” Adam jumped out of the truck and walked up to Cas. “Wondered where y’all had got to!”

Charlie playfully punched Adam in the arm. “Just catching up. I haven’t a chance to get all the dirt on my bestie!” Benny walked up next to Charlie. “Well, get in the truck. Dean is still a little sore about all this and I don’t know how he’d feel knowing you were out here without telling him.” Charlie rolled her eyes and headed to the truck with Adam. Cas gave a last look at the barn. 

“C’mon, Cas. Let’s head back. Dean will be stopping in for a beer break anytime now.”

“Yeah, okay. Hey, Benny…” Benny glanced at Cas. 

“Yeah?”

Cas smiled at him. Benny returned it. “Don’t worry, Cas. We’re good.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...thoughts? 
> 
> Don't be afraid to leave a comment, even if it's just to say hi!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been awhile since the last updated! But here's chapter 6!

The group sat around a high top table at the local bar. Charlie leaned closer to Dean. "Should he be doing that?" she asked as Castiel was downing shot after shot. "He never could hold his alcohol." Dean looked at Cas and shook his head and sighed. "Well, he's a big boy now. Far be it from me to tell him he can't." He set his beer on the table. Several more shots later, Cas stood up from his stool at the table. At least, he tried to stand up. He began to fall over and was caught by Dean.

"Okay, sir, you are definitely cut off. You can't even walk." Dean straightened Cas to his full height. Cas stared up at Dean, blurry eyed and red faced. "I'm fine. Just gonna go get another shot." He started to step out of Dean's hold and stumbled again, catching himself on the table.

Dean took Cas by the arm and steadied him. "Yeah, babe, you're done for tonight. Let's get you out of here."

Cas straightened himself and looked into his lover's green eyes. "You always take such good care of me. You're so nice."

Dean shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Well, it's my job, isn't it? I like taking care of you."

Charlie, Meg, Adam, and Benny laughed. "Looks like you got your hands full, Winchester," called Adam. 

Dean nodded. "Yeah, I do.... hey, wha...?" Somehow, Cas had another shot of whiskey in his hand. "Who gave him that? He's clearly done. What the hell?!"  
Meg snorted. "Awww, come on, Dean. He's slela...slela...slelabraiting! Let him have some fun!"  
"And you should be done too. You can't even talk." Meg just smiled a wasted smile at Dean. Damn, she was possible farther gone than Cas.

Yet another shot made its way into Cas' hand. Dean looked at him. "Hey, can I see that?" Cas slowly handed handed it to Dean. Dean downed the shot and set the empty glass on the table. He looked at everyone. "Seriously guys. No more. Y'all can do whatever, but I'm taking him home." Charlie laughed. "Cas is getting some bow-chicka-wow-wow!" She giggled. Cas gave a goofy laugh and leaned on Dean, eyes half closed. "Yeah...no." Dean said. 

Dean put his arm around Cas and helped him away from the table. "G'night everybody!" Cas slurred. Dean pushed opened the door. Cas' head fell on Dean's shoulder and giggled. "Helping me to your car..." 

"That's the plan. Then you're going to bed when we get to the house."

"Oh really?"

"Cas...you're going to your bed and I'm going to mine."

"Yeah, yeah. We'll see..." Cas stammered. Dean had never seen Cas this drunk, and he anticipated one hell of a hangover in the morning.

"No, Cas, we won't see. You're going to bed."  
Cas stared out the window the whole drive home, occasionally making some stupid comment about something outside. Finally they pulled into the driveway and up to the house. 

Dean got out of the car and went around to the passenger side. Cas was already getting out, which was damn near impossible at this point. Dean put an arm around Cas and helped him to stand. He got Cas in the door and began to lead him up the stairs to his room. Cas wasn't any help; he kept tripping every other step and laughing. At one point, Cas almost fell down the steps. "Okay. I got you." Dean picked Cas up and carried him the rest of the way to the room. 

He laid Cas on the bed and went downstairs to get a glass of water. Then to the bathroom and grabbed two Tylenol. 

Back in the room, he set the water and pills on the nightstand then unbuttoned Cas shirt. Cas pulled Dean close and kissed him. Dean broke the kiss. "Cas...we're not doing this right now. I'm not gonna take advantage of my drunk ex."

Cas snorted at Dean. "Well, I'm not really your ex anymore."

"True, but I'm still not going to take advantage of you."

Dean had stripped Cas down to his boxers. He moved him over to his bed, and pushed him lightly so Cas fell onto the mattress. Then he covered him up with the blankets and shut off the light.

"Dean..."

"Yeah?"

"Come lay with me." Dean looked at Cas. He was slowly falling asleep. He walked over to the bed and kneeled so he was eye level with Cas. He ran a hand through Cas’ hair. "No, Cas. Go to sleep. I'll see you when you wake up." Dean kissed Cas lightly on the lips and pulled away as Cas tried to deepen it. Dean stepped out of the room and closed the door.

Cas woke up to sunlight streaming in through his bedroom window. He opened his eyes, immediately shutting them because the light was too painful to bear. His head felt like it might explode. He rolled over and saw the water and Tylenol on the nightstand, a smile trying to form on his face. Cas managed to sit up and take the pills before he noticed the smell of food coming from the kitchen. He made his way down the steps and saw what could possibly be the best sight on the planet.

Dean was standing at the stove with his back to Castiel, wearing nothing but a pair of old sweats that may have been a little too big on him, seeing how they sat low on his hips. Two cast iron skillets were on the stove and the sound of pops and sizzles filled the room. Cas recognized the smells of bacon and coffee and saw a bowl of batter on the counter. Cas smiled and leaned against the doorframe. Then he walked slowly up behind Dean and put his head on his back between his shoulder blades, planting a light kiss there.

"Hey there, sleepyhead."

"Hey, yourself. What's the occasion?"

Dean pulled the bacon from one of the pans and set it on a plate before turning around to face Cas. "Because you were drunk off your ass last night and I figured you would have one bitch of a hangover today, and could possibly still be wasted. So, carbs and grease."

Cas leaned forward and hugged Dean, resting his head on Dean's chest. "Thank you." Dean kissed Cas on the forehead. 

"You're welcome. Now go sit down at the table. I'll bring your plate."

Cas smiled at Dean before turning toward the dining room. Not five minutes later, a plate of pancakes and bacon was sat in front of Cas. Dean also had a plate. They ate their food silently, which Cas was grateful for, since he had a whopper of a headache and was maybe still a bit buzzed. When they finished, Dean stood up to clear their plates. Cas sat back and looked at Dean.

“So, what next?”

“You're going back to bed and I'm going to work. Got some fence that needs fixed.”

“I could help.”

Dean shook his head and laughed. “Babe. I appreciate the offer, but you need to sleep. Really. Please.” Dean set the now clean dishes on a towel and walked over to Cas, kissing him on the forehead. “Now get upstairs.” 

Cas rolled his eyes but agreed. He pulled Dean in and kissed him gently before going up to his room.

***

Dean walked in the door. It was dusk, the sun was pretty much set. He was dirty and sweaty and sore from working on the fence, which took him damn near all day. He'd had to remove several posts and put in new ones. And then the door to RJs stall was off the hinge. Dean walked up the stairs to the bathroom.

He peeled off his clothes and threw them in the hamper, then turned on the shower, making the water as hot as he could stand. Stepping into the heat and steam was therapy enough. Dean let out a low moan as the hot water rushed over him. He just stood there for a few minutes before lathering up. As he washed, he thought about giving himself some special treatment while he was there. He was already relaxed; getting off right now would take the cake. His hand found it's way to his cock, which was hanging long and heavy from the heat. Then he stopped and removed his hand. 

A grin grew on his face. It would be more fun to get in some time with Cas later. Dean shrugged off his thoughts and rinsed off, finally stepping out of the shower.

Once dry, he threw on a towel and headed toward his room. He stopped at Cas’ door and opened it slowly. Dean smiled at the sight. Cas was face planted in the pillow, snoring quietly. His hair was a mess. Dean quietly slipped in the room and walked over to the bed on the side opposite Cas. He took his towel off and crawled under the blankets, putting one arm over the sleeping man and snaking a leg in between Cas’. Dean kissed Cas on the neck.

Cas stirred a little and made a soft noise. He rolled over and smiled. “Hi there.”

Dean gazed into those blue eyes that he loved so much. “Evenin’, sleepy head. Feel better?”

“Yeah. Thanks to you.”

Dean just kept looking into Cas’ eyes. “You still got a headache?”

Cas shrugged. “A little.”

“Then let's go back to sleep for an hour. I could use a nap.”

“Sounds fine to me.” Cas leaned in and kissed Dean on the mouth before falling asleep again. Dean wasn't far behind. He pulled Castiel in as close as possible as his own eyes fluttered shut.

Dean woke up to the most amazing thing that he possibly could. Cas was sleeping next to him. His hair was in different directions and he was snoring lightly, laying on his back. The blankets were just high enough to show his hips. Dean propped himself up on his elbow and just watched Cas sleep before kissing his forehead lightly. Cas stirred and slowly opened those breathtaking electric blue eyes, smiling sleepily. "Mornin." He said, voice thick with sleep. 

Dean smiled. "Mornin." He kissed Cas' forehead again. "What time is it?" Cas asked, closing his eyes again.

"About four. Guess our nap turned into a full-on REM cycle." 

"Oh no. Way too early. I'm going back to sleep." 

Dean chuckled. "You can sleep all you want, but unfortunately, I gotta go to work."

"Your work is right outside. Can't it wait until, oh I don't know, a normal hour? Like when the sun is up?" 

"No can do babe. I still have a lot of the west fence to fix and that will probably take all day."

Cas whined. "I hate your job. Tell your boss to kiss your ass." 

Dean laughed. "I don't think that's physically possible."

"Maybe if you ride RJ, you'll get there faster and you'll be done faster."

"RJ doesn't let anyone ride him. Like his daddy before him."

“He lets me ride him.”

“He's apparently very choosy.”

Cas hummed. "Like owner like horse."

Dean slapped Cas’ rear. “Yeah, we'll see about that.”

“Fuck you. Now get to work, cowboy.”

Dean slipped out of the bed and suddenly remembered that he had only a towel with him when he came in. He wrapped it around his waist and started to leave, casting one last glance at Cas, who was already fast asleep again. Dean shook his head and went to his room. Once there, he pulled on old jeans, a tshirt that had seen better days, and grabbed his hat off the dresser. He put the hat on, stopping to tip it at a picture of his parents that hung on the wall by the door.

Dean walked to the barn and fed the horses, brushing them briefly before grabbing his tools and getting in the old farm truck. He drove out to the broken fences on the western border of the ranch.  
Dean had never known any other life than this one. Up at the buttcrack of dawn, feeding the animals, fixing things with his hands. A day wasn't complete if he didn't walk in the door drenched in sweat and dirt. He wrestled a fence post out of the hole it was stuck in. Dean threw the old post into the truck and replaced it with a new one. He repeated this process for a few hours.

Around noon, he heard something in the distance. An atv was pulling up.

“Cas?”

Cas parked near Dean and climbed off the atv. He walked up to him and gave him a kiss. “Hey, you.”  
“Hey, to you, too. I probably smell.”

“I can deal. Figured you'd want to eat. So, here. Food.” Cas pulled a container out of the storage compartment of the atv and handed it to Dean, who opened it. A couple of ham sandwiches and a bag of chips were inside, along with a MTN Dew. “Aww thanks, babe!” Dean kissed Cas on the cheek. Cas shrugged. 

“I don't really cook, so this is pretty fancy. Consider yourself high enough on the totem pole to get lunch meat on bread. Oh, and I got adventurous and put some mayo on it, too.”

Dean pulled out a sandwich and took a bite. He looked at Cas. “This is perfect. Thank you.”  
Cas kissed Dean again. “I have to make some phone calls and find somewhere with WiFi. I'll be back in a few hours.”

“I'll be waiting!” Dean called after Cas. Dean finished his food and went back to work. 

Cas pulled into the barn and parked the atv. As he got off of the vehicle, he noticed a door he hadn't before. He walked over to it and slowly opened it.  
There were narrow stairs, so he shrugged and climbed up. He found himself in a small room with a bed and dresser. The lights worked. The bed seemed newer, maybe Dean had spent some time out here. Maybe with other people, other people Dean had fucked. Cas shook his head; those days were gone now. A grin grew on Cas’ face.

***

At sundown, Dean came in and showered like usual. But when he went to his room there was a note on his bed. He walked over and picked it up. “What the… huh. ‘See you in the barn.’ Weird. But okay…” He dressed and headed back out. 

When he got to the barn, there was… nothing. Except the horses snorting in the background. Dean looked around, finally spying a note on a door to the side. He read it out loud to himself.  
“‘Up here, dumbass.’ Well, fine then.” he opened the door and went up.

Cas was sitting on the end of the bed. Dean smiled. “I see you've found my secret place.”

“Yup. Cleaned it up, too.” Cas put his hands on his hips. Dean looked around the room. “I see that. Nice. I love it. So, uh… what’s the occasion?”  
Cas smiled and moved in close. He kissed Dean roughly, biting at his lip. Dean swallowed a surprised grunt. Cas spoke against Dean’s mouth. “It’s my turn.”

Dean pulled back and looked at Cas, not knowing if he should be slightly worried about what might be in store for him or if he should just whisk his clothes off because this was pretty damned hot. Cas decided for him.

Cas put his hands on Dean’s hips and turned him around so that his back was to the bed. Then he reclaimed Dean’s mouth in a heated kiss, backing him up until he had no choice but to sit down. Dean pulled his shirt over his head. Cas did the same.  
“I gotta say, Cas… this is unexpected but extremely freaking sexy.”

“Yeah, well, I’m full of surprises. Now lay down.”  
“Yes, sir…” Dean lay down as he was asked, he’d never admit that Cas had ordered him to, and suddenly Cas was leaning over him, tying something around his wrists and… to the bedpost?  
“Cas…” Dean swallowed hard. Cas just kept working. “Sshh. It’s fine. I’ve done this before.”  
“You’ve done this before… What? What the hell…”  
Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean. 

“You’re not the only one who has had other partners, Dean. I may have had a few more...adventurous ones than you.”

“Yeah… okay…”

“Dean?”

“Cas?”

“Stop talking.”

Dean put his head back and exhaled. He looked up. “Permission to speak?” He gave Cas a smartassed smile. Cas rolled his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Are those... reins?”

“We’re in a barn, babe. Yes. They’re reins. I didn’t think the rope in here was going to work. Too rough. Now stop talking.” Dean leaned back again and closed his eyes, clearing his head. 

Cas positioned himself over Dean and kissed him on the mouth. Dean started to deepen the kiss and was really getting into it when Cas pulled away. Dean was only disappointed for a second when he felt teeth pull at his earlobe, and then nipping at his neck. His toes tingled and he arched his back a little. Cas smiled into Dean’s neck and kept going, moving down his chest and stomach to the waist of his jeans. Dean lifted his hips, realizing only then how hard he was. Those jeans were not his friend at the moment. 

Cas seemed to know that fact, because he undid the fly with his teeth and maneuvered the denim off of Dean’s legs with his hands. Once Dean's jeans were off, so were Cas’. 

Cas started kissing and biting at Dean’s hips and groin. Dean let out a quiet moan as he felt Cas’ lips graze his swollen cock. Then he felt Cas slip his hands under his buttocks and give them a squeeze, followed by Cas sinking his mouth down onto his cock and moving his tongue around the flesh. Dean moved his hips in rhythm with Cas’ mouth. 

“Holy shit, Cas… Mmm…” 

He thrust his hips up. Cas pinned him down. Cas continued for a few minutes until he noticed Dean’s movements had faltered. Then he slipped a finger where a finger, let alone anything else, had never been. Dean’s eyes flew open.

“What the fu…” 

Cas pulled back. “Relax, babe. You’re okay. Just relax.” Dean put his head back again and closed his eyes, centering himself. He felt the finger again but let Cas do what he had set out to do. Before long, Cas had worked three fingers in and Dean was actually enjoying it. Suddenly, the fingers were gone and Cas’ mouth was off his cock. Dean felt something cold and wet where Cas’ finger’s had been. And then something large and solid, followed by a burn and stretch. Dean tensed up and moved his hips up. Cas pulled out and kissed Dean’s stomach. “Dean. Chill. It’s okay.” Dean nodded and relaxed. Cas went back to working his way into Dean.

In no time, Cas had bottomed out and began to push and pull slowly until Dean got used to it. Once Dean started to move with Cas, Cas sped up his pace. He angled his hips, searching for that cluster of nerves deep inside. He smiled when Dean cried out, knowing he had found it. He hit it a few more times when he felt himself nearing the edge. Dean wanted to grab Cas and flip him over, but the reins kept his hands out of the way. He wrapped his legs around Cas and pulled him in. Dean felt his eyes roll back in his head as Cas hit his prostate again. 

“Slow it a little, Cas.”

“You got it.” Cas slowed his pace until it was almost painful. He could tell Dean was unravelling by the way he moved himself with Cas and by the way his breathing had changed. Then, Cas rammed himself into Dean, causing his partner to let a deep, destroyed groan out. The sound alone put Cas over the edge.

“Dean… Dean, I’m…” Cas gasped. Dean bit his lip. “Me too…” Cas thrust a few more times and came into Dean, giving one more push into him and making Dean come as well. Cas pulled himself out of Dean and collapsed on top of him, finally reaching up to untie Dean after a minute. Dean brought his arms down and wrapped them around Cas. He kissed him.

“Where the fuck did you learn that, anyway?” Dean breathed.

“Oh, you know. Places.”

“Smartass.” Dean pulled Cas in close and kissed him. “Let’s just stay out here tonight. I was tired. Now I’m exhausted.”

Cas smirked. “You’re welcome.” He planted his head in Dean’s chest and fell asleep to the sound of Dean’s snoring.

************

Twelve Years Ago

It was a typical afternoon at the Winchester house. Dean and Cas had been out on Whiskey and River since school let out for the day, mostly racing each other out back by the pond. Cas won, like normal. They trotted back to the front of the house.  
“I’m gonna go see if she’ll jump that downed tree over there. I think she could be a jumper.” Dean looked out at the yard. Cas shrugged. “Go for it, dude.” Dean smiled and nodded at his friend as he heeled Whiskey into a canter toward the tree. Cas watched him.

Watching Dean ride was like watching a perfectly conducted orchestra. He was flawless; the way he moved with the horse and how he was so commanding but gentle at the same time. Cas licked his lips as he continued watching.

Cas didn’t hear his father pull up to the house. He didn’t even see him. But Zachariah saw Castiel. He fumed as he realized what was happening. Not to his son. Not to his family. They had a reputation to keep, and this would bring it tumbling down. 

Dean and Whiskey landed the jump. Cas pumped a fist in the air. “Woo! Hell yeah, Winchester! I knew she’d do it!” He high-fived Dean as he rode past.  
“That. Was. Awesome. Definitely gonna be working with her on that.” Dean and Cas hopped down from their saddles as Sammy walked up. “Hey, take the ponies back to the barn, will ya? I’ll be there in a few.” Sam sighed as he took the reins from the boys and led the horses to the barn.

“Castiel James. Time to go.” Cas looked back at his dad and then back at Dean. “Guess I’m going.”  
“Guess so.” Dean looked into Cas’ eyes and smiled. Cas returned it and turned to head toward his father’s car. As he climbed in, he gave one last glance at Dean, who was still watching.

The ride was silent. Cas and his father weren’t big talkers when it came to being around each other anyway, but this was different. Tense. Finally, Zachariah spoke.

“What was that back there?”

Cas shot his dad a sideways look. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, dad.” Zachariah gripped the steering wheel and kept driving. At last, they pulled into their own driveway. Cas got out of the car. Naomi opened the door to the house and called out to them.

“We’ll be in a minute, dear,” Zachariah said to Naomi. She closed the door. Cas looked up at his father. “What are… fuck!” Zachariah had grabbed Cas by the arm and pulled him into the garage, closing the door behind them. He shoved Cas against the door.

“Don’t lie to me. Do. Not. Lie to me. I’m not an idiot and I won’t be played like one.”

“Dad, I don’t know what you…” Zachariah pinned Cas’ other arm to the door, making it impossible to move. 

“I know what I saw. You. And the Winchester kid.” Cas felt his eyes widen at his dad’s words.  
“We’re friends, Dad. That’s it…”

“Yeah. Because ‘just friends’ look at each other like that. How Gabriel watches the girls in town. That’s the look I saw on your damn face.”

Cas rolled his eyes. He was done playing stupid. “Would you rather he had tits? Could you sleep at night then?” Zachariah slapped Castiel straight across his face. Cas looked up at his father. 

“Fuck you.” 

Zachariah hit Cas again. “This ends. Now. Or no Stanford.” He loosed his grip on his son and walked out of the garage, leaving Cas by himself. 

************

Cas was out in the barn, cleaning the saddles. He heard footsteps getting close. He rolled his eyes. If Dean was coming out there to take another “break…” Cas smiled.

“Dean, really. Get back to work…”

“He keeps you busy, I take it?”

Cas jumped and looked up. “Dammit, Gabriel! You can’t just sneak up on me like that.”

Gabriel shrugged. “Apparently you get surprised a lot. And yeah, I should have warned you. Don’t want to catch you being, well… the catcher.”

Cas rolled his eyes at his brother. “Is there something you want? Or did you come here to harass me?” Gabriel walked over to the table where Cas was working on the saddles.

“I just stopped by to tell you Khali and I just got back from our honeymoon. We eloped in Vegas and then stayed for the fun part. Much less complicated than having to do all the work here at home."

“Oh, well congrats that’s…” Cas snapped his head up and narrowed his eyes at his brother.  
“What?"

"Married. Me and Khali. In Vegas. I thought I spoke rather clearly."

"I've been here for…” Cas counted on his fingers. “You mother fucker. You set this up?"

"Bingo!” 

Cas felt his face grow hot. 

Gabriel slapped Cas on the back. “Oh, relax. Dean didn't know either."

"So you got me down here...to see if I'd patch things over with Dean?! What if this plan of yours didn't work?"

"Please. I knew it would. Seeing Dean miserable and hearing you being so miserable… I had to do something. It’s my duty as your older brother to make sure your best interests are taken care of."

Cas took a deep breath to calm himself down. "Okay. Let me make sure I got this right. You invited me to a fake wedding at my ex-whatever's family ranch in hopes that he and I would reconnect and make up because you were one hundred percent sure that we would work it out. Am I in the ballpark?"

Cas stared at Gabriel. Gabriel shrugged and winked at Castiel. “You know, I don’t deserve all of the credit here. You have another soul to blame for this.”

Cas scrunched his nose as he racked his brain for who else could have concocted this plan. Then he closed his eyes and sighed.

“Dammit, Charlie…”

“You got it! She loves you guys and she knew you were meant to be. You should probably buy her a fruit basket. Actually, she’s the one who came up with all of this crap.”

Cas took a deep, calming breath. He looked up at his brother.

"Vegas?"

Gabriel nodded. "Vegas."

Cas rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I can't even be mad at you. You're right. I was miserable. I needed to come back and I was ignoring it. You said Dean was miserable, too?"

"Oh. My. Lord. He was unbearable. Always moping around town. He'll deny it, and say he was fine. But cowboys are cowboys and they're raised to put on a face and be manly about stuff. But I could tell. He doesn't smile like that without you."

Cas smiled. "Know anyone who wants to buy my company?” Gabriel looked at Cas. 

"Little bro. You're selling? How romantic."

"Shut up and answer the question, Gabe. And yes, I'm selling. I'm coming home. Oh, I have a penthouse for sale, too. If anyone's interested."

Gabriel put his best overly-dramatic face on. "But, baby brother; wherever will you live?!"

Cas rolled his eyes. "Where I should have been the whole time. On the ranch. With that miserable cowboy."

Gabriel smiled. "Well it's about damn time, Cassie." 

Cas shook his head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh don't worry, we're not done yet! There are still a few problems that need to be addressed!!


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! I know its been a while! Sorry about that! But here is chapter seven! LOVE YALL! ENJOY!!

Dean finished his work a little earlier than expected. He walked into the mud room and kicked his boots off. He looked down at his clothes; he was caked with dirt and Lord knew what else. He put his hands on his hips and thought for a second before cracking open the door to the house.

“Cas?!”

“Yeah?” Dean smiled when Cas responded.

“Is uh, is anyone here?”

“Nope. Just us. Why?”

“Because I’m taking my pants off. They’re disgusting.” Dean shimmied out of the denim and left them there on the floor. He sniffed at his shirt as he took it off and made a face. “Damn, that is really nasty.” He dropped the shirt onto the jeans and stepped into the house. Cas looked up from his book he was reading and started to turn around.

“Hey, cowboy…”

Dean put a hand up as he hurried up the stairs. “Nope. You don’t want any part of this at all right now. It’s not pleasant. I’ll be in the shower.” Cas shrugged as Dean practically ran up the stairs. Dean immediately turned the water on hot and jumped in. He shuddered.

Once clean, Dean wrapped a towel around himself and sprinted to his room, where he put on some fresh clothes. Finally, he made it back down to where Cas was and sat next to him on the couch, leaning on his shoulder as he sat down.

“Better?”

“Holy shit, you don’t even know.” Cas kissed Dean on the forehead. They sat in silence for a moment.

“I was thinking we could go brush the horses before we take off with everyone for the night. I didn’t really get to spend a lot of time with them earlier .”

Cas looked up from his book. “But you just showered…”

“I was completely and utterly disgusting and not fit to be around other beings.”

Cas put his book down. “Alright, then. Let’s go.” The two got up and headed out to the barn. Cas grabbed the brushes and picks as Dean collected the gear. They began to brush Pandora and RJ.

In the quiet, Cas realized that he didn’t know what Whiskeys’ fate was. He looked up at Dean. 

 

"Hey Dean? What happened to Whiskey exactly? Charlie only told me you had to put her down."

 

Dean sighed and continued to brush Pandora. "I was out by the ridge."

************

Four Years Earlier

Dean, now twenty-six, was standing next to Whiskey on the ridge. He patted the now eight year old paint, hearing Whiskey's two children and their father run around somewhere far off behind them. He smiled. The horse nudged him. "Alright Whiskey. Let's go see what your kids and baby daddy are doin." He climbed up on Whiskey and started to turn her around when one of her back hooves slid off the edge of the ridge. When she tried to stabilize herself, a part of the ridge gave away.

Both horse and rider went tumbling down the steep cliff into the ravine below. Whiskey landed on Dean's leg and he cried out when he felt a bone snap. He rolled into a bolder, stopping instantly. The force broke his arm. Below him, he heard Whiskey make a horrific noise. He turned his head to see one back leg impaled by a small dead tree.

Above him, he heard a horse going ballistic. Dean clutched his arm to his chest. "River get help!" He yelled as loud as he could. Even though River never let anyone but Cas ride him, the horse had an understanding with Dean. The horse took off, leaving a trail of dust in his wake. Good thing the horse was extremely fast. Dean used his good arm and leg to slowly make his way to his horse.

"Easy girl, take it easy."

Whiskey rested her head in the dirt at the sound of Dean's voice. Her breathing was labored. Dean reached out and pet her nose gently. "It'll be alright girl. River went to get help. We'll get you fixed up and you'll be up and runnin’ in no time."

He didn't know how long they were there before he heard River running up the ridge followed by the sound of Benny's truck. Benny jumped out and hurried to the edge of the ridge.

"Dean!"

"I'm alright! Just a little busted up! Whiskey's hurt! Got two broken legs and she's got a dead tree in her hind leg!" Dean winced as he tried to use his broken arm.

Benny, Sam, Adam, and John slowly made their way to Dean. Benny looked at Whiskey. "Dean, we're gonna have to put her down." He said slowly. Dean moved to get up. Sam, John and Adam helped him.

"No. No damn way. She'll be fine. I'll get the vet and she'll fix her up."

"Dean, I know Ellen's the best but...I don't think there's anything she can do."

"No. We just gotta get her out. Then call Ellen. Jo too. I'm not putting Whiskey down. I can't."

"Alright brotha, take it easy. We'll get her out."

Dean looked on in the front seat of Benny's truck as they slowly got Whiskey off the tree and hooked up to the hitch. Next to him, River was watching as well. A few times the horse went right to the edge of the ridge. Dean knew River was worried about Whiskey. He reached his hand out the window and pet the Appaloosa's neck. "I know boy. Me too."

When they finally got Whiskey to the top of the ridge, Dean immediately called Ellen and she rushed over. She helped get Whiskey to the barn where she could examine her fully. John and Mary called Chuck, the family doctor and had Dean looked at.

"Well, his leg is broken pretty bad. He said Whiskey landed in it and he felt it snap. Well, she snapped it alright. Snapped the femur in two places. His arm is broken too, said he slammed into a boulder. He has a few cracked ribs as well. I put him on strict bed rest for at least a month so that leg can heal. I know Dean is stubborn and he'll get restless and want to work, but y'all have to put your foot down this time."

Dean heard everything through the door.

About an hour later, Ellen walked in. Dean pushed himself up. "Dean, I'm so sorry. Her injuries are too severe. She'll never really recover." This could not be happening.

"I wanna see her. I wanna say goodbye." He felt his throat tighten.

"Dean..." Mary started.

"If you don't help me out of this bed and let me see my horse, so help me I'll fuckin’ crawl to the barn." Mary looked at her son and sighed before helping him out of bed and to the barn.

Dean sat in front of Whiskey, slowly petting her. "Hey girl." He leaned over and put his head on hers. She snorted. He lifted his head. "She's not in pain. I gave her a sedative." Ellen said. Dean nodded and put his head back on Whiskey's. She nickered and lipped at Dean's cast. "I'm alright Whiskey. You know me." She nickered again, nudging him. "I know girl."

He continued to pet her. "We had some fun didn't we?" He smiled through his tears. She snorted. "Don't worry about your babies. River and I will look after them."

First, he loses Cas. Then years later, he was losing his other best friend. He buried his face in Whiskey's mane. He couldn't stop himself from crying. "I'm so sorry girl. I wish I could do something." He looked at the group. "Has River said goodbye?"

John shook his head. "We tried to let him but he was goin nuts. We had to take him to the old barn. The poor guy's inconsolable."

"I know how he feels...what about RJ and Pan?"

"Yeah, they got to see her. They're with River in the old barn."

Dean nodded. He moved to get up, still crying and not even bothering to hide it like he normally would. Hell, everyone was crying. They all knew how close Dean and Whiskey were. 

************

"I'm so sorry Dean. I know that wasn't easy for you." Cas wiped his eyes on his sleeve.

"Yeah, well, she ain't suffering anymore. Hell, I still catch River goin’ to where we buried her, every day." He put the saddle on Pandora. Cas looked up, wide-eyed.

"Wait...River's alive? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you didn't ask...again."

"Why haven't I seen him around?"

"Because he doesn't leave the back stretch of the farm. That's where Whiskey is. After you left, River never left Whiskey's side. Still won't I guess. Hell I don't know who was more broken up about it, me or him. I'm the only one he'll let near her."

"Damn. He must have loved her a lot."

"Must have. You wanna go see him?"

"Hell yes I do!"

As they made their way to the back stretch, Cas looked around. He had only been to the back stretch a few times in their childhood. Most of the trips were before River was born. "River must be what...seventeen?" He asked.

"Yeah, gettin old and still ain't lost a step." Dean smiled.

"Think he'll remember me?"

"We're about to find out." He put two fingers to his lips and whistled. Seconds later Cas heard River neighing and the sound of him running. Then River came into view. In a dead sprint, the horse made his way to them. Cas smiled. "Damn, you weren't lying. He really hasn't lost a step."

River slowed to a stop in front of them and eyed Cas. Cas hopped off RJ and walked over to River. "Hey buddy, remember me?" He held out his hand. River nickered and lipped at Cas' fingers. Cas' smile widened. "Guess so." River stepped closer and nudged Cas' face and lipped his nose. "Yeah, I missed you too buddy." He patted River's neck. Dean hopped off Pandora, smiling. "Well I'll be damned. He does remember."

Cas petted River's nose. "Mind if we take the kids to see mama?" River took a few steps back and turned around.

"Well look at that. He's leading us to her." Dean said as he climbed back on his horse.

They followed River to Whiskey. The horse stopped about twenty feet away. Cas and Dean hopped off their horses and led them the rest of the way to Whiskey. 

Dean walked over to the wooden cross, stopping about eight feet in front of if. Cas was right next to him. He looked at the cross. Whiskey was hand carved on it. Dean knelled down. "Hey girl. Been a few months. Would've been here sooner but got busy." He patted the ground. "Brought Cas with me this time though."

Cas knelled next to Dean. "Hey Whiskey."

They stayed there for a few minutes talking to Whiskey like she was really there. Then Dean's phone rang. He pulled it out. "Charlie." He said before answering.

"Yeah?"

"Where are you guys? We've been waiting for like, twenty minutes."

"At the back stretch. Took Cas to see River and say hi to Whiskey."

"Good, maybe he can finally pry River away from her for awhile. Do him some good."

"Yeah, we'll see. We'll be there in a bit."

He hung up and put his phone back in his pocket. "Better get goin’. You know how she gets when she has to wait."

Cas rolled his eyes and climbed up on RJ. He looked over at River. "You coming buddy?" River trotted next to RJ and Cas. "I don't think I'll ever be able to wrap my mind around how well that horse understands you." Cas just smiled. "About as well as Whiskey understood you."

"Yeah, probably."

Everyone was sitting around the table, talking and laughing. Castiel knew they missed him in his twelve year absence. They were all laughing at something Adam just said when Benny looked at Cas. "So Cas, you thinking about racing RJ like you did with River?"

Cas almost choked on his beer. He forgot Benny was the only one that knew he raced River all those years ago. And by the looks of it, Benny didn't tell them. Cas asked him not too. Benny had found out about Cas racing purely by accident. Benny and his parents wound up at the track in Dallas on a day Cas was racing.

"Uh...no. I haven't thought about it actually." He set his beer down in front of him. All eyes were on him. Benny just shrugged when Cas looked at him.

"You're shitting me. You raced River?" Dean asked.

"Only a few times. Three times in junior year, twice in senior year."

"Did you win any?"

"Have you met River? Of course I did. Won all of them."

"Why didn't you tell us? We would have been there to cheer you on!" Charlie said. Cas took a drink of his beer. "It was something I could have for myself I guess. Mom and dad made me quit because they wanted me to go to college and make something of myself."

"So if you would have stayed, would you have done it professionally?" Meg asked.

"Honestly? Probably. I loved it. I had a shit ton of companies wanting to sponsor me and even more horse owners wanting River to breed with their mares."

"How well do you think RJ would do?" Dean asked.

"Well, I'd have to run him to see. We all know he's got River's speed, but if he has Whiskey's distance, he'll be the next Secretariat and then some. I think he'd beat every record that horse set."

"Can you imagine?! If RJ runs like you think he will, how much money you'll make?" Charlie bounced in her seat.

"Well, it's not like I'm exactly hurting for money. I'd just do it for fun."

"Right, we keep forgetting you own your own company. How much do you have?" Adam chimed in.

"Like I said...I'm not hurting for money." Cas took a drink.

"Come on Cas, you can tell us." Meg said.

"I have enough to live comfortably for the rest of my life."

"How comfortably?" Dean asked.

"Well, if you Google the richest people in the country, I'm on the list." Everyone dropped their jaws. "Seriously? What number are you on the list?" Charlie asked. Cas set his beer on the table. "I'll give you a hint. The creator of Facebook is below me."

Charlie whipped out her phone and went right to Google. "Mark Zuckerberg has thirty-eight billion..." She said slowly, looking up at Cas. Cas smiled and took a drink as everyone looked at him. "Like I said, I ain't hurting for money."

It took a few minutes for everyone to recover. "So...if you're staying, what about your company?" Dean asked. Cas shrugged. "Sell it."

"But you said you built it from the ground up." Dean said.

"I also said I hate that life because you weren't in it."

"So you'd sell your company just to be here?"

"With you, yes."

"Why?"

"Do you really need an answer?"

Dean smiled as he put his beer to his lips. "Guess not, but it's nice to hear." Cas rolled his eyes.

"Because I love you and now you're stuck with me."

Dean smiled at Cas. "Music to my ears. You have no idea how good that is to hear."

Charlie set her phone on the table. "Thirty-eight point five billion." Everyone looked at her. "That's what Cas is worth. Thirty-eight point five billion."

"Good lord that's a lot of money!" Adam said. Again all eyes were on Castiel. "What? I told you I have Facebook boy beat. I didn't say by how much."

"Half a million?"

Cas took a drink and set it down. "Half a billion actually. I'll be higher up when I sell the company."

"By how much?"

"A couple billion at least."

Dean blinked his eyes as he took another drink of his beer. “Gonna take me a while to get used to that.” Cas gripped Dean’s knee. 

“Oh, you’ll be fine.”

************

Twelve Years Ago 

As Cas crossed the finish line, he felt higher than the clouds. River had run beautifully, just like Cas knew he would. In record time, too. He had last year's winner beat by about fifteen seconds. 

After their victory lap, Cas dismounted River and began to lead him to the stables to clean up and go home. As he entered the barns, he saw a familiar silhouette. 

“Fuck.”

Zachariah Novak was stern and strict. And for him to be at the track right now, catching Castiel doing anything but studying, well, it probably wouldn't end well.

“What have I told you about that language, Castiel?”

“Sorry, sir. Won't happen again.”

“You're damn right it won't. And, may I ask exactly what you're doing here?” Zachariah eyed his son, who met his gaze.

“Racing my horse. And winning, I might add.”

“Drop the sarcasm, Castiel James. How did you get here?”

Cas sighed. “I rode here on River.”

“Do the Winchesters know?”

“No. But River is my horse. They'd be fine with it.”

Zachariah stepped so he was almost nose to nose with Cas. “This is done. Now. Get your stuff and get home.”

“But, dad…”

“You heard me.” Zachariah turned and walked away, leaving the barn. River stomped his foot and snorted.

“Yup. Dad is an asshole. Let's get you cleaned up so we can get home.

************

Meg leaned back in her chair and looked at Castiel. “What time you out of here tomorrow?”

“Well, flight leaves Dallas at ten in the morning. It’s a two hour drive to get there. So probably seven.” Dean looked down at the table. Cas kissed him on the cheek. The other’s kept talking amongst themselves. After a few minutes, Dean got up and walked out to the back deck. Cas watched him before getting up and following him out.

Dean sipped at his beer as he watched the sun go down. He felt an arm wrap around his waist, a sad smile forming on his face at the sensation.

“Cas…”

“I’m coming back, Dean. I promise. I’m not leaving you again. Not ever.” Cas pulled Dean into a tight hug, tucking his fingers into the waist of Dean’s jeans and kissing him. Dean pulled away enough to speak. 

“When will you be back?”

“About a week. By Tuesday at most.”

Dean looked into Cas’ blue eyes and tried to smile. “Well, that isn’t so bad, I guess.”

“Nope. Not at all. But you know, I’m still here now. And, it’s early…” Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean, who pulled Cas in by the hips. “You are so right,” Dean growled as he took over Cas’ mouth in a hasty kiss. 

“Well, someone doesn’t need much convincing,” Cas said in a whisper against Dean’s lips as he moved his hips, pushing his own erection onto Dean’s. 

“I won’t see that ass for a week. You’re going to have a very uncomfortable plane ride in the morning.” Dean didn’t even take his mouth off of Cas’ when he spoke. The kiss continued for a few minutes, the two not even caring that they were just out of view of their friends, standing on the back deck. Finally, Dean pulled away and took Cas by the hand, leading him off of the deck.

“Where are we going?” Cas asked in a wrecked voice. Dean looked back at him and winked.

“To where this whole thing started.” Dean and Cas walked out to where he had parked the Impala, thankfully it was out of sight of the house. Dean leaned forward to open the back passenger door when he was spun around and shoved up against the side of the car. Cas was on him, and he wasn’t taking it slow. Cas snaked his hands under Dean’s shirt and felt his way around. He pinched at Dean’s nipples as he simultaneously bit at his neck; Dean’s knees almost gave out and he let a gravelly moan escape his mouth. Dean managed to get a hand to the handle of the Impala door and wedged it open. As Cas began to slow down and melt into Dean, he found himself being tossed into the backseat. Dean had somehow turned Cas around and taken control of the situation. Dean stood in the doorway of the car and pulled his shirt over his head. 

As Cas lay on his back, he took off his shirt and fumbled with the button on his jeans until he had them undone. He had moved them just off of his hips when he looked up. There was still some light out, and he could see a long scar travelling up Dean’s right side. A remnant of the accident on the ridge. Dean looked down at Cas, giving him a mischievous grin as he yanked Cas’ jeans off the rest of the way and crawled on top of him, sliding his own jeans off as he went. Dean reached back and pulled the door shut.

Cas shifted so he was face to face with those green eyes, staring into them for a moment before kissing Dean again. Dean was surprised when it wasn’t heated and fast, but deep and slow, like he was savoring the taste of Dean’s mouth. Slim hands made their way down Dean’s back to his hips with a light touch. Dean lowered himself onto Cas and returned the intimate kiss. For several minutes, the only sound was that of their heavy breathing. The windows were cloudy. And then Cas heard voices. He pulled back.

“Baby, wha…?”

“Ssh!” Cas’ eyes darted around, and then he laughed quietly. “There’s someone outside.”

Dean ducked his head down. “Guess they're about to get a great view of my ass.” Cas pulled Dean’s head into his chest and hushed him again.

Outside, Benny, Charlie, and Adam were walking. Suddenly, Adam threw and arm out, stopping his friends. “We should go back.”

Benny laughed. “Thirty years old and still afraid of the dark!” Adam gulped. 

“Nope. The dark is fine. Pants in the grass by Dean’s car, not so much.” Benny and Charlie snapped to attention. “Well, okay then…” Charlie quipped. Benny froze and shook his head. “Nah. They wouldn’t. Not all out in the open like that.” 

From inside the car, Cas heard Benny and laughed. He looked at Dean. “Watch this.” Cas grabbed his shirt and rolled down the window behind him. He threw the shirt outside.

“Nope! I’m out, y’all. Bye!” Benny threw his hands in the air. He, Adam, and Charlie turned and ran back to the house. Adam looked at his friends. “I am never getting in that car again.”

Dean and Cas listened until they couldn’t hear the others anymore. Dean looked into those blue eyes. “Now, where were we?” Cas wrapped his legs around Dean’s waist and pulled him in. Dean smiled. “Seems like a good place to pick back up.” Dean began to kiss Cas from his neck down his chest, smiling as he heard soft moans escaping Cas’ lips. It didn't take long for either of them to get hard again, and Dean figured he'd take advantage of it. He continued kissing Cas past his hips to his groin, teasing at his lover's hardened cock with a light nip at the head. Cas groaned and flexed his hips up in response, but Dean moved on to Cas’ thigh instead. He looked up at Cas. He was wrecked. 

“In, or on?”

Cas looked up. “What?”

Dean rolled his eyes playfully at Cas. “It's a simple question. Do you want me in you, or on you?”

“Umm, well… what do you…?”

“I have waited twelve damn years to ask you how you want to be fucked. So please, Cas. In or on?”

Cas smiled at Dean. “Get up here.”

Dean moved so that he was straddling Cas, lining Cas’ tip up with his entrance. He hesitated.

“You good?” Cas was looking up at him. 

“Yeah, just haven't done this before. Don't wanna hurt you.”

“You won't. Just go slow.”

Dean took a deep breath and lowered himself onto Cas slowly. The pain only lasted for a second before it turned into a full feeling. Once Dean was done, Cas began to move his hips. Dean caught on to his rhythm quickly, and before long they were moving in unison. Cas angled himself and thrust his hips up, driving himself right into the nerves inside. Dean let out a yell and grabbed the back of the driver's seat.

“Fuck, Cas…”

“Isn't that what we're doing?” Cas did it again and Dean let another expletive out. Then, he did it a third time. Dean was close and he needed to let loose before he went crazy. He pulled himself off of Cas.

“Dean, what… holy shit!” Cas didn't have time to finish his thought before Dean had plunged himself inside of Cas. He threw his head back as Dean pushed and pulled, picking up his pace. Cas pulled Dean in deeper with his legs. They moved together for a little while. Finally, Dean looked at Cas. His eyes were barely blue anymore, his pupils were taking up all the space, and looked completely destroyed.

“You ready?”

No answer. Dean drilled himself into Cas’ prostate, making Cas yell out. 

“I said, are you ready?”

“Yeah… go.” Cas couldn't even talk. Dean braced himself and went full speed, hitting the sweet spot each time. Cas arched and screamed out as he came, shooting all over Dean's chest. Dean managed two more thrusts and came undone himself. He collapsed onto Cas as he pulled himself out. They laid in silence for a while before falling asleep in the backseat.

 

Light was shining through the window of the Impala. Cas sat up, still half asleep, rubbing his head. He half opened his eyes, then realized where he was. He picked his phone up from the floor and checked it. "Shit! Dean! Wake up!" He tried to shake Dean awake. Dean only shifted a little. "Dammit. Dean! Wake up! I'm gonna miss my flight!" 

Dean half opened his eyes. "Wha-?" 

"My flight!"

Dean jumped up. "Shit! Your flight!" 

Both men got out and grabbed their clothes from around the Impala and got dressed in record speed. Cas looked at the front porch to see a suitcase with a note on it. He walked up to it and read it out loud 

__ "Packed your things for you since you were a little busy last night. Have a good trip!   
-C"    
Castiel rolled his eyes and smiled as he grabbed the luggage and put it in the trunk. Dean fired up the Impala and it roared to life as Cas got in. "Why is it every time we have sex in this car, I'm always running late the next morning?" Cas smiled at Dean. Dean laughed. "Guess she wants you to stay too."

“Well, I'm coming back this time. Promise.” Cas leaned over and kissed Dean on the cheek as they sped to the airport. Dean pulled up to the terminal with half an hour to spare. Cas jumped out of the car as Dean put it in park. Dean climbed out and opened the trunk. Cas pulled Dean in and kissed him hard. Dean kissed him back and pushed him off playfully. 

“Go. You're gonna miss your plane.”

“I'll miss you more.” Dean smiled and kissed Cas again briefly before Cas turned and jogged into the terminal, watching until he couldn't see him anymore.

***

Cas took a deep breath and pushed the solid glass door open. He immediately wished he could go home again. It seemed like every employee rushed him all at once. All talking at the same time. He tugged at his tie and started walking through the giant lobby, answering as many questions as he could. Cas was already in full "Castiel mode" as he made his way to the oversized boardroom. He hated being in business mode and hated being away from Dean even more. He hated his dress slacks. He hated his suit coat. He wanted his jeans and tshirt and to ride RJ and River and go to bed with Dean. But, for the next seven days, he was Castiel Novak, founder, owner, and CEO of Novak Digital Security Systems. When he reached the heavy cherry doors of the boardroom, his assistant opened it and he stepped in.

The room fell silent as he made his way to his seat. All eyes were on him.

"Well, sit, y'all. We have a lot of work to do and I'm only here in the office until Friday."

His assistant, Kevin, leaned in toward him. "Uh, sir? What's with your voice? You sound... different. "

"I'm from Texas, Tran. This is how I actually sound. Pull up a chair and take notes for me."

He had forgotten how boring his job and life had become. Looking back, he didn't notice it before. But since he had gone back to Texas, his life had already changed dramatically. He was who he is supposed to be, not who his father wanted him to be. Which was this, a businessman, and become filthy rich by basically sitting on your ass.   
  
He hated what he had become. He hated that for twelve years, all he tried to do was make his father proud of him. Now, all he wanted was for Dean to be proud of him. The only person Cas really gave a shit about in the family was Gabriel. He was glad Gabe did what he did, forcing Dean and Cas to see each other after all these years. Gabe knew how miserable both of them were, especially Dean. Dean had been through alot in the last twelve years. Cas wished he could have been there for him.

 

Castiel's phone had been going off in his pants pocket for about fifteen minutes. After he gave his presentation and brought everyone up to speed, he checked his phone under the table while the vice chairman babbled on. Cas took a deep breath as he read the text. It was Dean. And he wasn't playing nice. Cas stifled a groan and shifted in his seat. Fuck. He quickly texted back.

_"Dean. What are you doing? I'm in a meeting."_

_"Oh, I dunno. Felt like the thing to do."_

_"Well, stop it. I'm trying to concentrate. Big decisions are being made."_

_"Let's play a game then."_

_"I don't like what I think you mean by that."_

_"Let's see how long it takes for you to leave the room."_

_ "You're barbaric."  _

_ "Don't act for one second that you're not enjoying this." _

_ "I never said I wasn't. Only that I'm in an important meeting." _

_ "Yeah, because that's what you'd rather be doing." _

Cas rolled his eyes at the ceiling. Of course he would rather be doing other things. Like tying Dean's hands to a pole in the barn and working him up until he was basically a puddle on the floor. But instead, he was stuck in a large room sitting at a table with numerous colleges and lawyers about to make bank. He started texting again.

_"Still. I can't do what I'd like to be doing at the moment. Which makes this torture."_

_ "It's all been fun on my end." _

Cas put his phone back in his pocket. Nope. He had to finish this meeting. And handle Dean when he got home. But for now, he had to put his focus back on whatever the hell the vice chairman was saying.

The phone had gone off three times since he put it in his pocket. Five minutes ago. "Damn, Dean. You're really going to make it difficult on me," Cas thought to himself. He slid his phone out of his pocket and opened the messages.

Cas swallowed hard. Shit. Pictures now. Someone had figured out how to take selfies of his own ass...

_"Babe. You're making this really hard."_

_"Ain't that the point? Lol"_

_"Haha, you're a comedian."_

The next picture was of Dean's lower half covered with his cowboy hat. Cas was pretty sure that Dean was trying to kill him.

Five minutes went by. A new message popped up. Another picture. Cas pinched the bridge of his nose and opened it, immediately regretting the decision. Yup. Dean was trying to kill him. The picture was Dean laying on the bed with the camera above him...and his hand down his pants.

If this was a game, Dean was winning. But there was no way Castiel was going to let him know that. Cas shifted in his seat again. His slacks were fitting uncomfortably and his neck was warm. Crap. How long was left in this meeting?! He glanced at the agenda in front of him; probably at least half an hour. Crap.

The phone buzzed again. "Nope. Not opening that," Cas thought. The light was blinking, signaling a message. Cas was not picking up that phone. Nope. Fifteen minutes.

The light kept blinking. He reached for the phone. Cas bit his lip. "I'm going going to hate myself for this," he thought.

"Fuck," he thought silently. This picture was the same as the last, only, Dean didn't have any pants on. Or boxers. And he was touching himself. Cas quietly cleared his throat. He cursed Dean but gave him serious kudos at the same time. Cas shifted in his seat again.

The vice chairman sat down and the others began talking quietly amongst themselves. Cas spoke to the room, from his seat.

"Okay... it seems we have covered everything that we set out to cover. Does anyone have anything else they'd like to add?"

Silence and shaking heads.

"Alright. It has been a pleasure working with you all. I will be signing the final paperwork later this afternoon. Mr Edwards will be sole owner and CEO as of tomorrow morning. Uhh, peace be with you... or whatever."

The staff gathered their things and said nonchalant good lucks to Cas. Finally they filed out of the room. His lawyer stopped in the doorway.

"You coming?"

Oh, the irony, thought Cas.

"I'll be along soonish. I have to make a call. Close the door please."

As soon as the door closed, he called Dean. He didn't even give him a chance to say anything.

"You're fucking evil you know that? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to even look like I'm paying attention?"

"Well the point was to make it hard for you."

Cas narrowed his eyes. "I'm going to finish what I have to and then you better be ready when I get home. You're so gonna get what you deserve."

"Ooooo I'm shaking in my boots. Bring it, rich boy."

"Oh you better be. You won't be able to sit for a month when I'm done with you."

"Yeah, we'll see, Novak. Go back to work. See you soon; I'll be waiting."

"Yeah. See you soon."

Cas ended the call and put his phone back in his pocket. He picked up his things and took some deep, calming breaths in an attempt to will his erection away.

"Dammit, Dean."

***

 

 

 

“Okay. Movie time. Got the popcorn?” Dean made his way back to the couch. 

“You know it.” Cas leaned up against Dean and pushed play on the remote. He smiled.

They finally had a quiet afternoon to themselves; their friends were all off doing whatever for the day, which was awesome, because the two had barely had some real time alone. The sound of a car driving up the gravel driveway caught their attention. They looked out the living room window. "Oh you have got to be kidding me." Cas said standing up. "Who is that?" Dean stood up next to him. 

"My dad. Just...stay here." Cas stepped out on to the porch, closing the door behind him. He met his father in the driveway. Zachariah got out of his new BMW and adjusted his sunglasses. "Castiel, you're looking well."  
  
"Thanks, I guess."   
  
"Gabriel told me you sold your company. Why on earth would you do something like that?"  
  
"Because I wasn't happy there. I never belonged."  
  
"And I suppose you think you belong here? Throwing your life away?"  
  
"I didn't throw my life away by selling. I did that when I left home."   
  
"Excuse me? Did you not have everything you ever wanted?"  
  
"No I didn't. I had to hide who I was for twelve years. I left everything and everyone I loved behind to be something I'm not and never was to begin with. That's not a life, that's an existence."   
  
"This is nonsense. You are getting on the first plane back to Los Angeles and taking your company back."   
  
"No thanks. I’ve got my big boy pants on and I’m not going back there. I'll just stay here with Dean."   
  
"And why would you do that?"  
  
Cas put his hands in his pockets. "Gee, I don't know, probably because I'm gay, he’s gay, and we're together." Cas stared at his father.  
  
Zachariah was stunned silent, clearly caught off guard. "Excuse me?" 

"You heard me, I don't think I stuttered. I'm gay. I'm in love with Dean, and I'm staying."

Zachariah took a step toward Cas, slowly, as if he was sizing up his prey. Cas swallowed hard and his palms were sweaty. This was it. The showdown he had been dreading for almost 20 years. They stared each other down in silence for a moment. Cas didn't know it, but Dean was watching from inside. 

“How do you even know? You're confused.”

“Dad, I've known since I was twelve. I’m everything but confused. And it's been Dean the whole time. Pretty sure he felt the same about me the whole time, too.”

It happened in the blink of an eye. Zachariah struck Cas on the side of his face, causing him to stumble and nearly fall over. Cas braced himself on the side of the house. Before he could even think about what to do next, Dean had tackled Zachariah down the porch steps and to the ground. Dean brought his fist back and lined it up with Zachariah's face.  
  
"DEAN!" Cas crouched next to Dean, who was staring Zachariah down with an anger that terrified him. He had never seen Dean like this. Cas put his hand on Dean's arm. "It's not worth it. He's not worth it." Dean didn't break his stare, but he lowered his arm. Zachariah seemed to heave a sigh of relief as Dean climbed off of him and turned back toward the house. Zachariah stood up.  
  
"Dad, leave. Just... leave. Please. If you can't be happy for your son then..."  
  
Zachariah snorted, his hands on his hips. "Son? Apparently I have a daughter..."  
  
Dean spun around and decked Zachariah square in the face, sending him down to the ground. Dean stooped next to Zachariah as he sputtered. Zachariah’s nose was bleeding.  
  
"Get. The fuck. Off my land. Nobody treats Cas like that. Nobody. Now leave. I never wanna see your face here again." Dean stood up and walked back into the house, taking Cas by the hand without missing a beat. Cas didn't even look back. Once inside, Cas leaned against the door and closed his eyes, exhaling raggedly. When he heard the sound of his dad's car driving away, he felt his eyes sting.

“Cas?” Dean watched him for a moment, not really knowing what to do. He could tell that Cas was destroyed over this; they both knew it wouldn't be a happy ending when his parents found out. He reached out and touched Cas on the shoulder. “Cas?” he asked again. Castiel finally opened his eyes. As bright as his blue eyes were, Dean could see the sadness in them. Without a word, he pulled Cas into a tight hug and just held him there. Cas sighed.

“This is…” He didn't finish his thought. 

“A steaming pile of shit, that's what. Let me look at you…” Dean stepped back and looked at where Zachariah had hit Cas. He wasn't bruised, but there were some broken blood vessels, making his cheek red. He flicked his green eyes at Cas. “Well, no black eye and no bruise so, hey, it won't be so bad.”

“Dad, on the other hand…”

“I'm pretty sure I broke his nose and he'll have a nice shiner in about an hour. He deserves that. To go home to his family looking like the piece that he is. Okay. Go take a shower. I'm gonna ice my hand. We'll go out or something. Just us.”

“Sounds awesome. I'll be upstairs.” Cas smiled at Dean as he turned to go to the staircase. 

 

***

The sun was just creeping up over the horizon. Cas was sitting on the back deck drinking a cup of coffee when he heard the sliding door open. "Mornin." Dean kissed him on the temple. Cas smiled but continued to look at the horizon.   
  
"You're up early." Dean said sitting next to him. Cas took a sip of his coffee. "Bad dream." He said. Dean looked at him.   
  
"About what?"  
  
"Oh, you know, whatever people have bad dreams about."   
  
"Well, for Sam it's clowns."   
  
Cas laughed. "Yeah, I remember. His sixth birthday your parents hired a clown and it scared the shit outta him. That clown was creepy though."   
  
Dean smiled, looking out at the horizon. "Yeah, poor kid was never the same around clowns after that."   
  
The sat in silence for a few minutes. "What was it about Cas, really?"  
  
Cas sighed. "Do you remember that day you jumped Whiskey for the first time?"  
  
"Yeah, why?"  
  
"Well, my dad was watching me watching you. He didn't like what he saw either."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"The way I was looking at you. He said it was the way Gabe looks at girls."   
  
"What did he do?"  
  
"Dragged me into the garage and hit me. Twice. Then told me to cut it out or no Stanford."  
  
Dean looked at Cas. He clenched a fist."You're kidding right?"  
  
"No."   
  
"That's just..."  
  
"Fucked up? You have no idea."   
  
"Did he do anything else?"  
  
"Other than run me off for twelve years?"  
  
Dean looked at him. "Run you off? What are you talking about?" Cas took another drink of his coffee. "He's most of the reason why I left. Hell he pretty much had me escorted to the damn plane just to make sure I got on it. He knew Dean, and he didn't like it. He wanted me away from you."

Dean gripped the railing. "If I had known I would have done something. What a dick..."  
  
Cas put his hand on Dean's. "Well, it's all null and void now because I'm here. And I'm not hiding this from them anymore."

“That's my Cas. Doing his thing and not taking shit from anyone. I love it when you get all tough.”

“Yeah well, you know me.” He drained the rest of his coffee. “I'm gonna go put some real clothes on and go into town. I need to email the moving company about getting my stuff out here.

***

Cas walked RJ out to the track. It was four in the morning and the track was empty. A perfect time to let RJ run. He climbed up on RJ and led him to the start gate. Once inside, Benny closed it behind them. Out on the side of the track, Dean, Charlie and Adam were timing RJ.  
  
"Whenever you're ready Cas." Benny said.Cas nodded.  
  
The gate flew open and RJ took off. If someone else were riding, the person would have fallen off. But Cas was made for this, and he'd known it for a long time.  
  
"Cut loose RJ. Show me whatcha got." He heeled RJ and leaned forward to let the horse know he could go all out. Cas tightened his grip on the reins.Cas didn't think it was possible for RJ to go any faster, but he did. He squinted his eyes to keep out the wind. Before he knew it, they had gone around the track. Cas slowed RJ to a stop and hopped off.   
  
"Holy shit!" Dean yelled out. Everyone was staring at the stopwatch. "There's no fucking way." Benny glanced up at Cas and shook his head in disbelief. Cas looked over at them. "What? What's the time?"   
  
Dean looked up at him. "A minute fifty. RJ just beat Secretariat's fastest time by nine seconds."   
  
Cas smiled. "What did I tell you?" He patted RJ on the neck. "All he wants to do is run. Just gotta let him.” He looked at RJ. “Let's get you cleaned up, buddy. Your daddy's gonna be real proud…”

Before long, they had RJ loaded up and we're finishing stowing the gear. Cas double checked the latches on the trailer doors one last time. Dean came up behind him and wrapped his arms around Cas’ waist, perching his head on his shoulder. “So. What ya thinkin?” Cas turned his head and kissed Dean on the nose.

“I'm thinking that I have to brush up on my racing skills. Looks like we have the perfect combination of Whiskey and River.”

 

***

Cas didn't know that Dean had driven to the Novak's house; Dean had left him sleeping in his room. After yesterday's fight with Zachariah, Dean couldn't believe he was standing on his porch. He took a ragged, deep breath as he stepped up to the front door of the Novak's home. He paused for a second, and then knocked on the heavy wood door. Silence. Several seconds later, the door opened and Gabriel was grinning at him.   
  
"Oh, this is going to be good..."  
  
Dean sighed. "Yeah, yeah, Gabe. Glad I can entertain you."  
  
“Entertainment would have been watching you beat my pompous father’s ass yesterday. But I'm sure this will have its merits, too.” Gabriel winked at Dean. "I'll get the folks." Gabriel stepped aside and let Dean walk in. Dean removed his hat and stood in the large foyer. Zachariah and Naomi walked into the room. "We have nothing to say to you." Zachariah said.  
  
"Then listen." Dean looked pleadingly at the Novaks.   
  
Zachariah folded his arms over his chest. Dean felt like his stomach had dropped out of his ass. "All Cas has ever done is follow your rules, done things your way. All he's ever wanted was to make you proud. So what if he's gay and who cares if he likes to race his horse? Swallow your stupid pride and support him. He may be a grown man, but he still needs to know his parents love him." Dean's eyes darted between Zachariah and Naomi. He swallowed hard and the looked right at Zachariah. "You know, it killed him to have that fight with you the other day. To turn away from you like that. I could see it in his eyes, man."  
  
"Then I guess he shouldn't have disrespected me."  
  
"And how exactly did he do that again? Was it when he dropped his dreams to be a big time businessman for you or when he manned up and decided on his own future?"

"How dare you!" Zachariah unfolded his arms. "How dare you make such accusations! I have always looked out for Castiel's best interests!"  
  
"When it benefits you."

Zachariah took a couple of steps toward Dean, almost closing the distance between them. "Listen here, farmboy. Castiel..."  
  
"Cas."  
  
Zachariah closed his eyes and clenched his fist. "...was successful and well-off where he was. He could live his life however he wanted and..."  
  
Dean put up a hand. "Wait. Just... hold on a damn second. I'm right. Fuck it all, I'm right!"  
  
"Excuse me?"  
  
"You sent him away from me because him being here and being himself would damage your spotless reputation. To have your son stay here and be with me was the worst thing that could possibly happen to you, so you shipped him out."

"I don't know what you're talking about."   
  
"Of course you do. You're a reputable and respected man, but you're forgetting something. So am I. There isn't a person for miles who don't know my name. Everyone in this town loves me and I'm held in pretty high regard."

Zachariah just stared at Dean. Dean grinned.  
  
"You want your son to be happy? Well guess what? He is happy. Whether he's out riding his horse, working the ranch, being with his friends, or even lying in bed with me at night, that man can barely contain how freaking happy he is since he came back. And ya know what, if you can't accept him and his happiness, then I don't want you coming near him ever again."  
  
Naomi looked like she might faint. Zachariah pointed a finger at Dean, getting in his face.  
  
"Son, you don't have the balls to take me on like that..."  
  
Dean laughed, looking at the ground and then back up at Zachariah. He smiled.  
  
"Actually, you pompous douchebag, I do have the balls. And your son loves them."

Zachariah stared at Dean, wide-eyed. He started to speak when Gabriel interrupted him.

"Dean's right dad, Cas is a lot happier when he's with Dean. For the last twelve years whenever I'd call him, he didn't sound like himself and I could tell he was miserable. Being here, being with Dean...dad, he's happy."

Gabriel gave Dean a thumbs up, to which Dean responded with a nod. Dean looked back at the Novaks. As he turned to walk out of the house, Zachariah yelled after Dean.

Zachariah whipped around. "Gabriel? Are you really going to side with him?"  
  
"Um... yeah. Yeah I am. I'm also going to go to that race. You should, too. Mom!" Gabriel looked at Naomi, who had been silent the entire time. "Will you be joining me?"

"Uh, I-" Naomi stammered. Dean knew she never really made a decision without her husband. Zachariah had control over the whole family, save for his kids.   
  
"You should try to get to know your son. Cas is the best man I've ever known. He's worked his ass off to try and please you his whole life. And if you can't at least try, then don't bother. Just know your son is well taken care of."

As he turned to walk out of the house, Zachariah yelled after Dean.  
  
"Well taken care of my ass! What, do you think he's gonna have a better life living in that broken down, shithole of a house as he was in his penthouse in LA...?!"  
  
Dean turned around and in two steps he had reached Zachariah and decked him the face for the second time in two days. Naomi screamed. Dean looked at her. "That's twice now. One for each time he hit Cas that day your dick of a husband figured us out and decided he couldn't handle it."  
  
Naomi glanced from Dean to her husband, then to Dean again. "He... he hit Castiel?"   
  
"Yes he did. Sorry to tell ya like this. But this man is a douchebag. You know what, he can stay away from us. I don't want him at my doorstep."

He put his cowboy hat back on his head and headed for the door. "See you at the race Gabe." He said before stopping at the door. He turned to Naomi. "Hope to see you there." He added with a nod and a tilt of his hat.

About twenty minutes later, Dean pulled back into his driveway and parked the Impala. He walked into the house and kicked off his boots, finally walking into the living room and flopping himself on the couch. He looked at his hand, which was slightly bruised at the knuckles. He put his head back and closed his eyes when he heard Cas come down the stairs.  
  
"Hey. Where did you go? Woke up and you were gone."  
  
Dean didn't open his eyes. "I had a chat. With your folks."  
  
Cas stopped. "What? About what?" Dean turned around and looked at Cas. "I told them you were going to race RJ and that they should come and support you."  
  
"And?"   
  
Dean looked at his hand and then showed it to Cad from the couch. "My hand is sore and bruised, so..."

Cas walked over to the couch and sat next to Dean. He sighed. "Well, at least you tried. I appreciate that." He kissed Dean on the cheek. "I love you."   
  
"I love you too, babe." They sat for a few moments in silence.  
  
"I may or may not have told your dad that you love my balls..."  
  
Cas looked up at Dean. He shrugged. "Well, you're not wrong..."

"And I'm not sure, but I think you're mom might show. I may have let slip your dad hit you...twice."   
  
"I bet she was surprised."  
  
"Gabe looked so too. You never told him?"  
  
Cas shook his head. "Never told anyone. Not even Charlie. She knew something was up though, as usual."

Dean sat back. "Huh. I know something that even Charlie doesn't know. This is a weird feeling."  
  
"How do you think mom will come? Did she say anything?"  
  
"Nope. Not a word. But there was something in her eyes... I think she wants to come and support you. Guess we'll see."

Cas sat back, silent for a moment. "Dean? Why didn't you tell me about your parents?"

"Umm... what?" Dean looked at Cas, startled. He had not expected that question or conversation right now.  
  
"Your parents. Why didn't you tell me?”

"I... I guess I wasn't ready to talk about it like I knew we would. It's not something you just casually talk about." Dean thought for a moment before a thought hit him. "Wait... if I didn't tell you, then how do you..." Cas looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath.   
  
"Don't be mad. Charlie took me out to the old barn and... well, she told me everything."

Dean's jaw clenched for a second. "Really wasn't her place to tell, but I get why she did. I've never really talked about it. I kinda went nuts for awhile after it happened."

"So I've heard." They sat in silence again for a couple of minutes. Cas took Dean's hand and gave it a squeeze. "If you don't want to talk about it right now, I get it. But I'm here when you're ready." Dean put his head on Cas' shoulder.

"Thanks, babe. I'll let you know." Dean was quiet for a moment. He squeezed Cas’ hand. "I'm not proud of who I was after they died. Not one bit. And I know you weren't here for it, but I promise you right now that I will never be that person ever again."

Cas nodded slowly. "Even if you were, I'd still be right here.”

Dean leaned in and kissed Cas on the mouth. Cas deepened it when he felt Dean melt into him. Cas smiled against Dean's lips. This is exactly where he wanted to be for the rest of his life.

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I know, it's been awhile! We've been super busy with a different story and I (Destiels_Celebrity_Status) kept forgetting to update! Sorry 'bout that!

"Woah, RJ... you're okay buddy. Nice and easy..." Cas slowly backed RJ out of the trailer, which was proving to be a more involved task than he thought. With all the other horses and unfamiliar smells at the track on race day, RJ was having an attitude problem. The horse was finally on the ground and looking around, nostrils wide and breathing heavily. Cas patted him on the neck. 

"He okay?" Dean stepped out of the truck and walked to the tack closet of the trailer.

"Yeah. Just overstimulated. He'll be alright soon as he gets used to it." Cas went back to cleaning and inspecting RJs hooves.  
"Alright, I've been scoping out the competition and there is only one horse that might give RJ some trouble and I'm not talking about speed wise. The horse's name is Little Demon, the rider's name is Crowley. They both play dirty. I've seen Crowley hit other riders with his whip and the horse runs into other horses." Charlie leaned against the trailer. Cas sighed.   
“Charlie, can you like, announce yourself or give us a warning when you're coming near?”  
Charlie raised an eyebrow at her friend. “Why?”  
“No reason. Walk with me.”  
Cas looked around the stables as he led RJ to his stall. "Which one?" He asked Charlie. Charlie looked around. "There, them. The quarter horse in stall nine." Cas led RJ by the stall. The horse started kicked the stall and snorting at Cas and RJ. Cas eyed the horse then looked at RJ. "Remember that scent buddy. Don't let him near you." He patted RJ as the walked. RJ snorted in response.  
As Cas readied himself and RJ, he was shaking a little. It was nerve-wracking enough to be here, but with the added pressure of Crowley and his horse he was losing confidence fast. He took a deep breath and calmed himself. He felt a hand on his low back.  
"Hey there, hot shot. How's it goin?"   
Cas turned to see Dean standing next to him. "Oh, you know. Trying not to freak out."  
Dean put his hands on Cas' waist and pulled him closer. "If I know you, and I do pretty damn well, I know you'll do great. And if RJ is half the horse River is, he'll showboat win or lose." Dean smiled. Cas laughed. "Yeah, you're right." Cas tipped his head up and kissed Dean. As he did, he caught something out of the corner of his eye. He turned to see what it was. It was Gabriel walking toward them, and next to him was...  
"Mom?!" Cas pulled away from Dean and watched her walk towards them. Dean blinked.   
"Well, I'll be damned. She grew a pair."   
Naomi took Cas into a hug when she finally stopped in front of him. "Hi, baby."  
"Hi... I'm really..."  
"Surprised? Yes, I know. But my son is racing today and I decided I wasn't going to miss it."  
Cas pulled back and looked at Naomi. "Does dad know you're here?"  
"He does. And he isn't happy about it. But I told him that if he wants to be miserable then he can do it alone. He made a choice."  
Cas looked at his mother. "What do you mean, he made a choice?"  
Naomi smiled. "Oh, don't worry about that just yet. You have a race to win."

Cas climbed on RJ as the trumpets sounded. He patted the horse as they made their way to the start gate, being led by another horse and rider. "RJ, what does that stand for?" The rider asked. "River Junior." Cas replied.   
"Wait, River. I know that name. Wasn't there a horse named River that raced here years ago?"   
Cas smiled. "Yup. This is his son. Both are my horses."   
"Holy crap! That was a fast horse!"  
"Still is. RJ is faster."  
"Seriously?! That's amazing! Well, if RJ is anything like River, I think the odds are good for ya."  
Cas smiled. "Thanks. I have a feeling we'll do just fine."

The pace horse and rider led Cas and RJ the rest of the way to the start gate, where another man guided them in. It was narrow and RJ was getting rowdy, but so were some of the other horses. Cas looked around. Crowley was four gates down. As the timer ticked down, Cas got into position.   
In the stands, Naomi sat next to Dean. She pulled out a pair of binoculars and handed them to him. She smiled when he looked at her with a little confusion.   
"I noticed that you hadn't picked up a pair. Figured you might want them."

Dean smiled. "Thanks, Mrs. Novak."

"You're welcome. And it's Naomi." She settled back into her seat. "I have always like you, you know? I'm glad it's you." Naomi patted Dean's hand. He started to speak when he was interrupted by Charlie squealing. 

"THEY'RE OFF!"  
RJ bolted out of the gate and darted forward. "Easy boy, take your time. Don't get excited." Cas whispered to his horse. They fought through the group, easily making it to the front.

Around the halfway point, riders started using their whips. Cas didn't even have a whip. He never needed one, even with River. Then he realized he was neck and neck with Crowley.  
Crowley looked over at Cas, squinting his eyes at him. Cas kept his eyes on the track ahead; he was not going to let Crowley get to him. He saw Crowley lower his whip hand and Cas shifted RJ slightly so that there was a little more distance between he and Crowley.  
Crowley left them alone for a short time. Cas and RJ were leading with a short ways to go when Crowley came up next to them again. He saw Crowley shift in his seat, sending Little Demon nearly into RJ. Cas heeled RJ on, pulling ahead again. And then Cas felt a stinging pain on his thigh. He bit his lip and pressed forward.  
Dean jumped up from his seat. “What the hell?!” He looked at Naomi. “Did you just see… holy shit! This guy is so getting banned today…” Naomi put her binoculars up to her eyes. Benny walked over to Dean.  
“Dude, I think he has a blade on that crop. Not for positive, but the way he moved it…”  
“Yeah well fuck him if he does. If he hurts them, so help me…” Dean sat back down, looking through his binoculars.   
Cas could see the finish line. He was so close. Crowley and Little Demon were coming up behind him. His thigh was on fire. Cas leaned forward and gave RJ some length on his reins, heeling him one more time. As they crossed the finish line, Little Demon ran straight into RJ, causing RJ to stumble and Cas to almost fall off. The crowd gasped. Cas regained his balance and waved a hand in the air to signal that he was okay. As the crowd applauded, the announcer came over the loudspeaker.   
“And the winner today, rookie Whiskey's River, ridden by Castiel Novak! Please make your way to the platform!”   
Dean and the others jumped up and screamed, clapping and whistling as Cas was handed a banner and a trophy. “Woo!! That's my man! Yeah!” Dean hugged Naomi. “See? Aren't you glad you changed your mind?” Naomi smiled. “I am. He looks…”  
“Happy? That's because that, out there, is Cas. He doesn't want to die in a suit.” Naomi smiled at Dean. “Well, we better make our way down there.”   
The group hurried down to the platform. Cas grinned excitedly at Dean.  
“Babe! I freaking won!”  
“I told you so.” Dean pulled Cas in and kissed him. Cas pulled back and took Dean by the hand. “Come on. I want a picture of us and RJ.” They stood on the platform with RJ's face between them, Cas holding his trophy and Dean holding RJ. Then Cas had Naomi join them. Cas was as high as a kite and nothing, not even Crowley, could bring him down.  
As they began to walk back to the barns with RJ, Cas winced when he put pressure on his right leg.   
“Hey, what's the problem?” Dean looked Cas up and down.   
“My thigh. It hurts. I don't know if it was Crowley or an accident. I haven't looked at it yet.”   
Dean stopped the horse and Cas. “Let me see.”  
“Right now?”  
“Yes, turd. Right now. Lemme see.” Dean looked at Cas’ leg and noticed a slice in the fabric over his thigh. The edges were tinted red. When he pulled the material back, he saw a shallow, thin cut.  
“Well, definitely Crowley. Benny thinks he has a blade in his crop.”  
Cas looked up at Dean, wide-eyed. “Are you fucking kidding me?! He cut me?” He looked down at his leg.  
“Yep. And he's not getting away with it. Go put RJ away. I'll be back.”   
Cas looked back at Dean, who was walking away at a fast pace. “Don't… don't get me banned!” Cas patted RJ on the neck. “He's such a fucking hot head sometimes.”  
Dean looked around the stables, finding Crowley handing his horse over to a man. He walked over to him. "Hey," he spun Crowley around. "I saw what you did to my boyfriend. You have a blade in your whip. You hit my boyfriend with it. Let me tell you something, if he didn't tell me not to beat the living shit out of you trust me, you wouldn't be standing right now. If I ever see your face at another track, I will find you and you won't know what hit you." He patted Crowley roughly on the shoulder. "Good talk." Crowley turned as Dean walked away. "And uh, who exactly, are you?"

"You really don't want an answer to that question pal. My boyfriend was riding the Appaloosa you rammed into." Crowley grinned. "Huh. Makes sense now. Thought he seemed a little... Light on his feet. In any case, I don't know what you're talking about. Little Demon has perfect manners. Must have been someone else." Crowley and Dean stared at each other for a moment. Dean twitched with the need to knock Crowley to the floor, but he clenched his fist at his side.  
"Just watch it. You don't want the other end of this." Dean turned and left the barn as Crowley headed to change.   
Dean walked back to the truck as Benny, Cas, and Adam loaded RJ on the trailer. Cas walked over to Dean. "Where did you go?"  
"Oh, just had a little talk with Crowley."  
"Dean..."  
"I just talked." He kissed Cas forehead. "Promise." Cas squinted his eyes at Dean. Then he smiled at him. "Alright. Well let's get going. I'm tired. You're tired. RJ's tired."  
"Yeah, yeah, I know. We're going." Dean climbed in the back seat of Benny's truck after Cas, who promptly leaned onto Dean's shoulder and fell asleep.

Dean gently shook Cas as they turned into the driveway. Cas picked his head up and yawned. "Home already? Didn't we just leave the track?"  
"Yeah like forty minutes ago, Sir Snores A Lot. How do you even sleep with that, Winchester?"  
Dean laughed. "I'm usually beat by the time I go to bed, so I probably just don't hear it."  
"I'm right here, ya know."  
Dean looked at Cas. "Go unload your horse." He kissed Cas and pushed him playfully out of the truck.

The gang was sitting around the fire, drinking a few beers to celebrate Cas' win. "Plan on racing again Cas?" Adam asked. "Yeah, I'll race a few more times. Hopefully get to retire RJ as a champion like I did River before my dad made me quit. I'm glad mom showed up today."  
Dean looked at the smile on Cas' face. He couldn't help smiling himself. He was glad Cas was happy. He would give anything to keep that smile on Cas' face. Dean put his beer to his lips and took a slow drink, watching Cas with everyone, laughing and being the Cas he fell in love with when he was sixteen. After everything he'd been through, Dean felt like life was coming together for him. It was definitely worth waiting twelve years for. Dean took another drink. Cas looked over at Dean and winked as he took a drink of his beer. Dean smiled. "Come here you." He pulled Cas closer and kissed him. He smiled as he watched the look of surprise on Cas' face turn to contentment. Dean smiled against Cas' lips, stifling a laugh when the other man's eyelids fluttered. Cas pulled back and look at Dean.   
"And what's so funny?"  
"Nothin." Dean smiled. Cas rolled his eyes. "You're such a dork." He pushed him away lightly.  
"Ya know, you two are so cute it's gross." Charlie said. Cas flipped her off. "Blow me Red."  
She shook her head and made a face. "No. That's his job,” she said, nodding at Dean. “I wouldn't want to put him out of work.”  
"Yeah, yeah." Cas laughed. Charlie gave her friend a warm hug. "Seriously though Cas, we're all really glad you're back." Cas smiled and took a drink. "Wouldn't rather be anywhere else." Dean put his arm around Cas and pulled him to his side, sneaking a hand to his ass and giving it a squeeze. Cas narrowed his eyes at Dean. Dean just smiled at him. Damn, that smile again. It was like Dean knew it went straight to Cas' soul. Cas leaned in and kissed him on the cheek.  
They all hung out until the fire was almost dead, then decided to call it a night. Benny, Adam, Charlie, and Meg all piled in Benny’s truck to go to their respective homes to sleep. Dean on the other hand, had other plans, and none of them included sleep. As soon as he closed the bedroom door, he pulled Cas in and kissed him, slowly. He thrust his tongue into Cas' mouth and brought his hips to his own, pushing him up against the door to the room. Cas ran his hands under Dean's shirt, feeling his way around his chest and down his torso, undoing the button on Dean's jeans when he got there. Cas slipped his hands just inside of the fabric of Dean's jeans and boxers, gripping the skin on Dean's hips and grinding himself against the other man’s cock. Dean pulled his shirt over his head and let it fall to the floor, then walked Cas back to the bed. He lowered Cas slowly, never breaking the kiss. When Cas was finally on his back, Dean worked at his own jeans, then Cas’, sliding them off of Cas' hips and thighs slowly until they were on the floor, kissing his chest and torso as he worked, stopping only to nip at the skin as he passed over. Dean bit his lip as he heard Cas let out a soft moan and felt him lift his hips from the bed. Dean smiled as he pinned Cas' hips to the bed. He moved to Cas' neck, gently biting as he went. Cas pushed his hips against Dean's, dragging his erection against his partner's. His breath hitched.  
"Dean..."  
"Shh...I've got you, baby."  
Dean pushed his hips down then moved his tip over Cas' hole, pushing against it slightly.  
Cas arched his neck at the sensation and wrapped his legs around Dean’s hips, pulling him slightly closer. Dean took a deep breath and bit his lip again. He pushed himself inside Cas slowly, stopping for a few seconds to allow Cas to get used to the feeling. Cas' eyes fluttered closed and moaned. "Dean..." It was barely a whisper. "I know baby, I know. Just slowing it down a bit."   
"Mmm... okay..." Cas inhaled sharply as Dean continued to push himself in. When he felt himself bottom out, he stopped and kept himself still inside of Cas, causing his partner to writhe beneath him. He leaned in a kissed Cas full on the mouth, deep and slow, letting his tongue explore the interior. Cas returned the kiss, running his own tongue along Dean's. Cas swallowed a grunt as he felt Dean begin to move inside of him. Dean moved his hips slowly, not wanting to rush. Sometimes, you just gotta stop and smell the roses. That is exactly what Dean was doing; taking the time to slow down and enjoy it. Every slow steady thrust, every breath, every bead of sweat. Every heartbeat. He relished in the small sounds coming from Cas; the quiet, wrecked sounding moans that escaped his lips. He thrust into Cas again. Cas responded by digging his nails into the bed and arching his back. Dean felt a tingling in his gut, signaling that if he wasn’t careful this would be over early. He took a deep breath to calm himself. Dean angled himself and brushed against the soft cluster of nerves. Cas squeezed his eyes shut. His mouth open, he let out a loud moan. Just listening to Castiel was going to do him in. Dean almost lost control, biting his lip again and taking another breath.  
"Fuck... Dean..."  
Dean smiled. "Not tonight." Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean. "Dean... pl... please..." He thrust his hips upward in an effort to get Dean to do what he wanted. Dean pinned his hips down and kissed him, feasting on his lips and keeping his cock still inside Cas.  
"Nope. I'm taking my time with you tonight." Cas' head fell to the bed. Dean continued his pace, brushing against Cas' prostate. Cas wrapped his legs around Dean, trying to push Dean deeper. Dean responded by grabbing Cas' legs and pinning them underneath his own.  
"Relax love. We got all the time in the world." Dean whispered softly as he pushed against Cas' prostate again. Cas arched his back and moaned. Dean couldn't get enough of Cas being absolutely wrecked. He loved the sight of Cas under him, moaning, practically begging for release. Dean moaned against Cas' neck as he listened to his lover lose control, as Cas' chest rose and fell in shallow and erratic breaths.  
God, he loved it. Dean bit his lip. The tiny amount of pain was enough to distract him temporarily, to keep himself going just a little longer.  
Dean felt something warm and wet trail down his groin and thigh. Cas was close. Painfully close by the look on the other man's face. He grabbed Cas' legs and pushed them down as far as they would go, allowing Dean to go deeper. He paused and looked at the sight in front of him; Cas’ dark hair was a mess, his cheeks flushed, hands above his head and gripping the headboard for dear life. Dean smiled.  
"Cas?"  
Silence.  
"Castiel."  
Cas opened his eyes and looked into green orbs, nearly black from the pupils being dilated. "Yeah?"  
Dean grinned; Cas was destroyed. "Ready?" Cas managed a nod. Dean had to keep himself from laughing. "Thought so."  
He moved his hips a little faster, hitting the sweet spot just a little harder. Cas cried out a moan. "God...Dean...I'm..."  
Dean kissed Cas' neck. "Yeah, that's it. Come for me Cas." He breathed. Cas reached for his own swollen cock, to help it along, But Dean put his hand back above his head on the pillow where it was. “Just let it go, baby. Let it go on it’s own.” With a few more thrusts, Cas threw his head back, his eyes open wide and his body shook with the force of his orgasm.  
Dean couldn't hold back anymore, the sound of Cas coming put him over the edge. He thrust hard a few more times until he came inside of Cas. As his cock twitched out the last of its come, Dean collapsed on top of Cas and exhaled raggedly. After a few minutes, Dean pulled out and rolled off of Cas. Cas looked at him, still trying to catch his breath. "I think you should take your time more often." He smiled. Dean laughed and turned his head to looked at him. "That good?"  
Cas moved and kissed Dean. "It's always that good."  
Dean pulled Cas in as close as he could and kissed him on the forehead. Cas buried his face in Dean's chest. Before long, they were both asleep, not even bothering to clean up first.   
***  
Dean stopped in his tracks. The flames were engulfing the entire barn. He ran forward, but Benny grabbed him. "Let me go! My parents are still in there!"  
"Dean, there's no way!"  
Dean shook free and sprinted to the barn. He ran inside and looked around. "Mom! Dad!"  
"Dean! Dean get outta here!"  
***  
Dean's eyes shot open. He looked around. He was still in his bed. Next to him, Cas was fast asleep facing away from him and snoring lightly. His head fell to the pillow and he looked at the ceiling. He hadn't had a dream about that day since Cas came back. Almost like Cas was keeping them away; a living dream catcher. Dean ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He got up and went to the bathroom, turning the faucet on and splashing cold water on his face.  
"Dean? You okay?" Cas' voice came from the bedroom. Dean looked up into the mirror.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Go back to sleep.”  
Cas got out of bed and walked to where Dean was, not caring that he didn’t have any pants on. He wrapped his arms around Dean from behind, kissing him on the shoulder. "I'm here, baby. I've got you." Dean clenched his jaw. "I'm fine Cas. Really. Go back to bed."   
Cas pulled back and sighed. "Okay. Back to bed, then." He kissed Dean's shoulder again before he turned to leave the room. Dean watched him in the mirror until he was gone. He looked at himself in the mirror and rubbed his face. "Dammit, Dean. Don't shut him out. Don't be that person again." Dean splashed more water on his face and grabbed the hand towel and dried his face. He walked back to the room and sat on the bed. He ran his hand down his face and put his arms on his legs.  
"It uh, it was a nightmare. About my parents...how they died. Every time I have that damn dream...the closer I get to saving them, but never do. I always wake up almost as soon as I get in the barn."  
Cas sat up. "Oh, wow. That's... that's awful. Do you need me to get you anything?"   
"Not unless you have a time machine. When it was happening, all I could do was stand there. I didn't do a damn thing. I just...I feel like I could have done something."   
Cas moved so he was sitting next to Dean and looked at him. Dean was staring at the floor.  
"Dean. Look at me." Dean glanced up into those blue eyes.  
"There was nothing you could have done to change the outcome. From what I've been told, the barn was completely engulfed in flames by the time you got there. You would have only hurt yourself, babe."  
Dean looked back at the floor and nodded. "That's what everyone kept telling me." He looked out the window. "Did Charlie tell you just how...crazy I was, after?"  
"No, she didn't."  
Dean let out a breath. "Well, it wasn't pretty. At first it was just normal grieving ya know, lookin’ at pictures, drinking, that sort of shit. Then, I dunno, I just...snapped. Nightmares every night so I only slept for a few hours. Tearing up the house. I was only sober a few times. Got into it with Benny a few times, he's pretty much the only one that can take me anyway. I wrecked the car one night, comin’ home from the pool hall. Wrapped it around a tree about a mile away."  
Cas sucked in a breath, his eyes wide. "Were... were you...?"  
"Drunk? Yeah. Completely obliterated. They probably should have stopped serving me at some point but apparently they didn't. And I was by myself and figured I could make it home. I must have been going like ninety or so around that curve. I blacked out."  
Cas continued to look at Dean. He didn't realize how bad off Dean was when his parents died.  
"Who found you?"  
"Well, I woke up, head bleeding and my leg was shattered. My phone was cracked but it worked. So I called Benny and told him not to tell the others yet. The last thing I needed was Charlie and Meg getting all motherly on me."  
"Did you tell them eventually?"  
"Had to. I was in the hospital for about a month. Charlie didn't let me drive much after I got out. Still didn't stop me. I just started driving the truck until Charlie hid the keys to the truck and the Impala. Everyone took turns babysitting me after that. So I just stayed in here. Only got up to go to the bathroom and take a shower. Didn't eat much. Guess everyone got sick of my shit so they called Sam. He damn near smacked me silly. I knew I was being stupid but I didn't care. You were gone, then Whiskey, then my parents. It felt like it all happened on the same day."  
"Charlie said that you just kinda, popped out of it one day. Is that true? What changed?"  
"Yeah I did. What changed? I just woke up. and said enough. Worked on the Impala all night. Charlie came over that morning to check on me and I was already just about finished with it. Then I built the barn with Benny. Truth be told, I couldn't stand to look at myself in the mirror anymore. I was basically wasting away to nothing and it was literally killing me." Cas gripped Dean's knee, feeling a scar that must have been from the accident. "I'm sorry you had to go through that. I... saying that I wish I could have been here is pointless..."  
"Then don't say it. I get it, Cas. And now that I know about your dad, well, I understand why you got out of here." Dean leaned his head into Cas' chest. "You're here now. And this is the first nightmare I've had since you've been back."   
"Really?"  
"Yeah. Dunno why. I never really talked to anyone about them but they knew that it was killing me. Charlie and Sam tried to get me into some kind of stupid counseling. Hell, Sammy drove me to Dallas but I never went in. When I snapped out it, everyone still kept a close eye on me. I was still kinds out of it for awhile but I got better." Cas gave Dean a small smile and kissed him. "Well, I'm glad you did. And thank you. For telling me."  
"I almost didn't. When you came into the bathroom just now I got defensive. Sharing and caring has never been my strongest trait. So, I'm sorry. For being an ass about it."  
"You weren't that much of an ass about it. I figured you'd just tell me when you were ready. Even if you suck at sharing and caring. You've never been good at it."   
"But, I was still a little bit of an ass."  
Cas grinned at Dean. "Yeah. But you're my ass. I forgive you for your small amount of assery." He pushed Dean back down to the bed and snuggled up to him.  
"Cas?"  
"Yeah?"  
"Thank you."  
"For what?"  
"Listening and for coming back."  
"You're welcome and there isn't anywhere else I'd rather be."  
Dean smiled. "Get some sleep."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, how'd you like the chapter? Leave a comment!
> 
> Love y'all!


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize profusely for not updating in so long! We have gotten so caught up in the When Worlds Collide series that I keep forgetting to update!!!

The next morning, Dean woke up early and got dressed. He walked downstairs and made some coffee. After two cups, he went outside and decided to change the oil and the spark plugs in the Impala. Cas woke to an empty bed. He looked around the room. "Dean?" There was no response. He got up and got dressed then made his way downstairs. Dean wasn't in the house. He walked outside, seeing Dean working on the Impala. He smiled and leaned against the house, watching Dean work. After several moments, he walked up to the cowboy.

"So how bad was it? The crash?" Cas asked. Dean looked up from under the hood.

"Like I said, wrapped her around a tree. The whole driver side was bent in, hood flew off, broke the windshield. The doctor said I shouldn't have lived. Which made me feel so much better by the way." He continued to take out the old spark plugs. "I just kinda left her like that for awhile. Guess as some kind of sick reminder. Or just to torment myself with the fact that I shouldn't be alive, I dunno."

"Well, that's guaranteed to keep you grounded, for sure." Cas patted the passenger door. They were quiet for a moment.

"By the way," Dean started, not looking up from what he was doing. "No one else has been in the back."

Cas looked up. "What?"

"I never had anyone else in the car. Ever. That's our spot. One girl tried but I told her no."

"Aww. You're such a... wait. Girl?" Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean.

"What?! I like chicks, too. I just like you better. And no chick has an ass like yours so, just... you know what I mean." Dean went back to the spark plugs.

Cas laughed. "You're a...."

"Yeah yeah. Big softy and all that mushy shit." He looked up at Cas and smiled. Cas rolled his eyes. "Work on your car macho man. I'm grabbing some coffee."

"Hey. Come here first." Cas stepped toward Dean, who kissed him on the mouth. After a few seconds, Dean pulled back, nipping at Cas' bottom lip a little. "Okay. Now you can get your coffee." Cas smiled and headed back into the house. Charlie pulled up at got out of her car. "Working on Baby I see." Dean continued his work. "Yeah, gotta keep her happy. Sometimes I think she's still pissed at me for wrecking her. Still stalls out every now and then. Have no fucking clue why."

Charlie came around the front of the car and stood next to Dean. "Well, that's weird that she stalls after all you've done to out her back together."

"I told him, Charlie."

"Told him what? And by him I assume you mean Cas."

"I told him everything."

"Everything as in...?"

"As in all of it. The nightmares, drinking, not eating, wrecking Baby, all of it."

"Even your little stay in the psych ward while your leg was broken?"

Dean looked at her. "No."

"Why not?"

"Shit Charlie, I don't know. Maybe I don't want the man to think I'm insane?"

"You know he won't care Dean."

"You don't know that. It might just scare him."

"Dean...you have to tell him."

"The fuck I do. If you wouldn't have told the doctor you thought it was a suicide attempt, I wouldn't have been there in the first place." Dean closed the hood and started walking to the house.

"Wasn't it?"

He stopped and looked at her. "You know damn good and well it wasn't. I was out of my mind drunk and crashed end of story."

"I don't see it that way." 

Dean stopped with his back to Charlie. He took a deep breath in before turning around to face her. He took a few steps toward his friend until he was nose to nose with her.

"I went to to the bar. I got wasted. They over served me because they're idiots. And I'm an idiot so I tried to drive myself home. When I came to after hitting that tree, I called Benny. Now, don't you think that if I had wanted to die that maybe I would have just stayed there? Maybe even taken extra measures to make sure? You know how I was acting but you damn sure don't know what was in my head."

"Dean. We were worried about you! What else were we supposed to do?"

"Oh I don't know, wait for me to start cutting myself or acting totally weird. Being a drunk asshole was not weird at that time."

"He needs to know."

Dean paused, clenching his fist. "If he does, he ain't gonna know just yet. I'll tell him when I think it's time. I just unloaded so much crap on him last night and..."

"And by the looks of it, he hasn't packed his bags to leave."

"Charlie, if you tell him anything else about my breakdown, or my parents, or anything else that is my business, don't bother coming around."

Charlie looked at him, a few tears on her cheeks. Dean looked away from her; he hated this part but he'd known it was coming. Charlie wiped her face.

"Fine. Not a damn word, Winchester. But if he finds out somehow he's gonna be pissed. He just wants to be there for you, Dean. He wants to understand what you went through and he loves you." She wiped her face again and pushed past Dean as she hurried to the house.

Dean ran his hand down his face and looked at the ground. "Son of a bitch..." He walked inside.

Cas was sitting at the dining room table, drinking coffee and reading the morning paper. "Hey Cassie." Cas looked up to see Charlie sitting across from him. "Charlie, you okay? You look like you've been crying..." Charlie smiled, but it wasn't her usual smile. "Just allergies. I'm good." Cas looked at her for a second then went back to the paper. "Anything interesting?"

"Not really. Just looking at the stock market. Old habits die hard."

"Wow. You are such a nerd Novak."

Dean walked into the kitchen and grabbed a cup of coffee and leaned in the doorway. "Every damn morning with that paper. Expecting your company to be bankrupt so soon?" Dean smiled, taking a sip. Cas rolled his eyes. "Even if it does, not like I'll go bankrupt too. And if that does happen, I'll go smack that little asshole in the face."

Cas flashed a grin at Dean as he folded the paper up and set it down on the table. He got up for a second cup of coffee. "So, what's on the agenda today, folks?" 

"Well, unfortunately, I have shit to do around here today. Fences to mend, cows to feed, the glorious life of a cowboy." Dean smiled and winked at Cas as he took another sip of coffee. "But you kids have fun. The office is calling my name."

Cas gave Dean a kiss before he walked out of the room. He turned back to Charlie, who was staring at her cup. Something was wrong.

"Charlie..."

"It's all good. Really Cas." She forced her usual attitude into life. "So! What are ya gonna do now that you don't have the company?"

No idea. How about a movie day?"

"Sounds good to me."

Dean backed the truck up to the fence and got to work. He maintained the fences every other month. Today, it's the North fence all the way at the back of the ranch. Three hundred acres away from the house. The North fence would take a few days at least if he worked his ass off all day.

He thought about the night's events and what he said to Charlie. He felt horrible about being a dick. Telling her off like that was a dick move. He knew he should have told Cas about being institutionalized. Honestly, he was ashamed of it. He sighed, took a drink of water and went back to work.

Cas and Charlie walked out of the movie theater laughing. Charlie linked her arm with Cas.

"That was hilarious! I needed that today."

"I noticed. You okay?"

Charlie nodded. "Yeah I'm good. Just a rough start to the day. It happens."

"Well if you want to vent I'm here."

"Thanks, Cas. But I sorta promised I wouldn't talk about it." They climbed into Charlie's car. The ride back to the ranch was pretty much a karaoke session, the two singing every song on the radio, just like old times. Cas and Charlie had always been close back then, before he left. Of everyone he missed Dean the most, followed by Charlie.

They were greeted by Dean as they pulled up to the house. Cas pulled Dean into a hug when he was out of the car.

"I probably reek, babe."

"Well, if I can't handle you when you stink then I don't know what I'm doing here." Dean laughed and kissed Cas.

"Where did you two go?"

"Out to a movie." Charlie looked at Dean. Dean narrowed his eyes at Charlie.

"Get in some time to catch up?" He eyed her with a raised eyebrow. She smiled.

"Why yes. Yes we did." Cas walked into the house. Charlie stomped her foot.

"Fuck, Dean! Do you really think I'd go behind your back?"

"You already did once.”

“Unfair, Dean. We were out walking and he asked. I wasn’t going to not tell him.”

Dean put a hand up. “Okay, okay. Obviously, we went about this all wrong. We’ll talk about it later.” He turned to go into the house.

“But, Dean…!”

“Later!” He slammed the screen door behind him and disappeared into the foyer. Charlie kicked the tire on her car. 

 

Dean walked into the living room where Cas was sitting, watching TV. Cas darted his eyes up at Dean. 

“Everything okay? Things seem...oh, I don’t know, tense between you and Red.” Dean sighed. 

“Yeah, just a small disagreement. But no biggie. It’ll blow over like usual.” 

Cas nodded. “Wanna clue me in?”

“Not right now. I will. But not now.” He kissed Cas on the forehead. “I’m gonna take a shower. You joining me? I could use a good back scrub.” Dean raised an eyebrow at Cas. 

“Yeah, I’ll join you. Twist my arm.” Cas grinned and followed Dean up to the bathroom.

 

As they toweled off, Cas glanced over at Dean. His back was to him and Cas noticed another scar he hadn’t paid attention to before that ran adjacent to his spine. Cas walked up behind Dean and rand a hand lightly along it.

“What ya doin’?”

“Just hadn’t seen this one before.”

Dean turned his head. “Oh, that. That is from my fall with Whiskey. A branch or root must have got me on my way down the cliff side. Gotta admit that I’m a little self-conscious about all these damn scars. I feel like a damn science experiment.” Cas leaned against Dean’s back and kissed his shoulder. 

“I think you look like a badass Adonis but hey, what do I know?”

Dean shook his head and turned around, kissing Cas quickly. “Go get your clothes on before I take that ass again. We have a reservation, remember?”

Cas smiled. "That we do." He kissed Dean before going to his room to get dressed. 

 


	10. chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Technically this is the last chapter, but there is an epilogue that I'm adding to as well. So folks...here it is! Chapter 10!

Dean looked at himself in the mirror. He was impressed; he hadn't bothered to dress up at all since the funeral, and standing there in his black pants, grey button down, and black shoes, he looked like a totally different person. Definitely not like the farm boy he was. He fixed his collar and gave himself a nod of approval. "I'd fuck me." He turned to the side. "Yeah. I definitely would." 

"You would what?"

Dean turned to see Cas walk in. His breath left him. Cas was used to putting on a pair of fancy pants and shoes, but Dean had never really seen him like that. Grey pants, a blue button down, and a grey sport coat clung to him perfectly. Dean smiled.

"Nothing babe. Let's go."

Two hours later, they were in Dallas at one of the many steakhouses. They both ordered a steak with a baked potato. Their first real date since Cas came back. After their server refilled their wine, Cas looked at Dean with seriousness.

"Dean, what was the disagreement between you and Charlie today? She really looked upset."

"Cas, I know you and Charlie have always been close. I told you I'd tell you, just...now isn't the time."

"Okay. I won't bring it up again." Cas smiled Dean. 

"Thank you." Dean took Cas' hand. "Sorry it took so long for us to get out like this. I meant to do it sooner."

"It's fine, babe. This is perfect." He eyed Dean, looking him up and down. "I have to say, you clean up nice, cowboy."

"Yeah well, once in awhile I give it a shot. Not very often. Like, once every three years."

Cas laughed. "Well ain't I special." 

"Pretty much. The last time I dressed up that wasn't a funeral, was prom."

"Holy shit, you weren't joking. Well, I like it. But I like the rugged look too." Cas shook his head and flashed those electric blue eyes at Dean. "I guess I just love you no matter how you're dressed. Or, undressed. Either is fine."

Dean smiled that million watt smile that could light up the world. "We'll get to that later." 

"My favorite part."

"Oh really?"

Cas smiled and shrugged. 

"I knew you only wanted me for my body."

"Shut up and eat your food."

They finished their meal, laughing about stupid stuff and talking, really talking, for the first time since Cas had left. They had talked since he came back, but usually their friends were around and that didn't lead to opportunities to have private chats. Dean grilled Cas about his company, and college, and what it was like in California. Something about the way Cas could talk about business was extremely sexy for one reason or another and Dean could listen to him ramble about it for forever. Cas caught Dean staring at him and stopped mid sentence. 

"What?" Cas grinned. Dean shook his head. 

"I just can't get over how much I love you. Like, I know we've said it but... Castiel James Novak I'm so damn deep in the pond I don't know how I'm even breathing."

Cas looked at him. His head tilted to the side a little, a smile grew on his face. "That's one way to describe love I guess."

"I'm serious Cas. If you wouldn't have come back, I would have drowned. Probably in alcohol. Even though I've gotten better after the crash, I was still messed up. I hid it from everyone." He put his arms on the table, licked his lips, and looked Cas in the eye. "The reason why Charlie and I got into it today was because there was something I didn't you last night." He looked at the table for a second, then back to Cas. 

"I told you I spent a month in the hospital, but it wasn't because of my leg. Well, that was part of it. After I wrecked, Charlie thought it was a suicide attempt."

Cas' face changed from twitterpated to concerned. He held Dean's hands. "She thought it was..." He looked at Dean. "Was it?"

Dean shook his head, never breaking eye contact with Cas. "Absolutely not. I was a mess, sure but I never even thought about anything like that. But they kept me anyway because you can't just send a person home once that word has been said to a doctor. They pink slipped me faster than RJ can run a mile."

Cas sat back in his seat, still looking at Dean. He licked his lips. "Why didn't you just tell me? You know that I'm here no matter what. I want to be supportive, and you need to know that you can talk to me about anything. Even the hard shit."

"Well, first of all, I'm an dick. Second..." He half laughed, but it held no humor. "Because I was scared of what you would think." He sat back and looked away, playing with his fork. "And I was kinda pissed that Charlie told you about my parents." He clenched his jaw and kept his eyes on his fork.

Cas leaned forward.

"Dean?" 

"Hmm?"

"Look at me."

Dean did as Cas asked, looking into his blue eyes. He felt small; being honest about his feelings was never something he was good at.   
  
"You have no reason to be afraid of what I might or might not think. Ever." Cas took the fork out of Dean's hand and intertwined their fingers. "You can trust me."

Dean held Cas' eyes. He was silent for a moment. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you." He sighed. "And first thing in the morning, I need to apologize to Charlie."

"Probably a good idea. She was really upset. But, hey..." Cas picked up his wine glass and raised it toward Dean. "Let's not dwell on it right now." Dean smiled as he picked his glass up and held it next to Cas'. Cas took a deep breath.  
  
"Here's to me coming home, to you finally talking about your feelings, and to us, because we finally stopped being assholes about how we feel for each other. I honestly couldn't be happier than I am right now. I love you."

Dean smiled. "I love you too."

Dean paid the bill and the two left the restaurant. It was a mild night, and clear. Cas looked at Dean.

"So, now what? Home?"

Dean laughed and took Cas’ hand. Cas raised an eyebrow at Dean. 

“What's so funny?”

“It's not really funny as much as it is comforting. You called my place home.” Dean stopped and stared into those electric blue eyes that he could get lost in for hours. He pulled Cas in close, taking his mouth in a heated, deep kiss. Dean opened his eyes in time to watch his lover's eyes flutter. He smiled against Cas’ lips before pulling away. Cas looked up at him.

“I take it you're fine with that?”

“Castiel, I have wanted little else in life than to hear you call anywhere where I'm at home.” 

Cas grinned. “Well good. Because you're stuck with me now.”

The Impala came to a stop near the front porch of the house. Usually Dean would just shut the engine off, give Cas a kiss, and get out. But this time he hesitated, a thoughtful look on his face. Cas raised an eyebrow.

"What're ya doin'?"

Dean didn't respond. Verbally. He put the car back in drive and went around the house, brights on, and headed toward the back of the property. Cas looked at him.

"Dean...?"

"I have an idea." Cas settled back into his seat as Dean drove. Before long, the pond came into view. Cas grinned as Dean parked the car at the edge of the water. Dean looked at Cas with a smile on his face. He leaned in and claimed Cas' lips, deep and slow. Cas pulled back after a moment. "Good idea."

"Of course it is. It's the same idea I had twelve years ago." Dean smiled that million watt smile. Cas just rolled his eyes. 

"Yeah yeah hot shot. At least I'm not leaving for college in the morning."

"That's the best part."

Dean finished his sentence by taking over the other man's mouth again. Cas nipped at Dean's bottom lip and pulled back, a mischievous look on his face as he shrugged off his jacket and slid into the backseat.

 

The morning sunlight slowly came in through the windows, dappled by the leaves from the surrounding trees. Cas blinked his eyes open and a smile grew on his face. He was looking at the interior of the roof of the Impala. He sat up and rubbed his head. Dean was still asleep. He nudged him with his foot. "Wake up smooth criminal." Dean rubbed his eyes and smiled at him. "Mornin." He sat up. Cas grabbed his pants when he heard something hit the floor. He leaned forward and picked it up. It was a small black velvet box. He looked at Dean. Dean was still in the process of waking up. Cas' eyes flitted back to the box. He took a deep breath and opened it. A black band with a single diamond inlaid in it was seated inside. Cas felt his eyes widen and his breath left him for a second.

"De..Dean?"

"Yeah?" Dean rolled over to face Cas, his eyes drifting to the open box in his hand. Dean met Cas' eyes. He opened his mouth to say something,  _ anything _ , but the most embarrassingly nervous laugh came out instead. He swallowed and continued looking at Cas.

"Is this what I think it is?"

Dean sat up, rubbing his neck. "Uh, yeah. I planned on surprising you with it last night, but uh, I got distracted." Dean took the box from Cas, looking at the ring inside. He took it out and turned to face Cas, looking into those blue eyes again. Damn, those eyes. Dean licked his lips and took a deep breath. "I know this might seem really soon, but truth is I think it's long overdue." His eyes darted to the ring and then back to Cas.

"When you first came back, I honestly didn't know what to do, what to think. I didn't want to get my hopes up.” He took another breath. "But that morning, when you rode out here on RJ and I kissed you for the first time since that night I... I knew. I knew that I couldn't live without you ever again."

Cas knew his mouth was open, but he didn't know what else to do. Had he thought about this moment? Well, of course. But now it was here. Real and right in front of him. He bit his lip and smiled, keeping his eyes locked on the emerald ones in front of him. Dean continued.

"I want nothing more than to wake up next to you every morning and fall asleep next you every night. Hell, maybe have a family one day. I love you so much. More than you'll ever know. Castiel James Novak, will you marry me?"

Cas had imagined throwing himself into Dean's arms and shouting "yes" at the top of lungs, kissing him fiercely and probably having amazing sex right then and there. Instead, he could barely speak.

"Yeah... yes. Yes, oh my God, yes!" He smiled at Dean, who pulled Cas into a kiss. When they pulled away, Dean laughed.

"Oh, yeah. You probably want this on." Dean took Cas' left hand and slid the band on the proper finger.

Cas looked down at his hand, at the ring. Then back at Dean. "I love you, Dean Winchester."

Silence. And then Dean pulled Cas back in for another kiss.

 


End file.
